Sunday, May 31, 2009

Panties Test

I'm offended!

This test
(in Norwegian) tells me this is my kind of underwear. Have you ever seen anything so nasty?

The test also tells me that unless I'm a boy I must be a real tomboy. Apparently I like that underwear is comfortable (which is true, I do) and I should wax my bikini line.

I even went back and changed all my answers to the opposite of what I answered before. Still got the same result.

I am not happy...


How come tasty means "tastes good",
when smelly means "smells bad"


Cuts off Penis to Avoid Marriage

An Egyptian man cut off his own penis, protesting the bride his parents had chosen for him.

The 25 year old worker from the village Sheikh Eissa in southern Egypt was brought to hospital Sunday evening, and his condition is stable.

- He was in love with a woman, but his parents did now allow him to marry her. Instead they demanded he marry someone else, which he did not wish to do. The man went to his room and cut off his penis in order to avoid the marriage, a police officer says.

The hospital was unable to reattach the penis.

I wonder if the other girl wants to marry him when he doesn't have a dick, or if he's really been screwed for the first and only time...

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Friday, May 29, 2009

...and I just broke another glass...

Actually it sorta flew right across the room.

It was kinda weird.

How come I always break the glasses I like, and never the ones I don't like?

Maybe it's the universe's way of saying it's time to leave town...

Cherries & White Wine

My nail polish matches this year's first cherries.

Or "morello" as they call it here.

Pretentious suckers... I don't care, it's still a cherry.

Sure, I'd love to sleep with my doctor!

Not that it's an option.

I've just met the guy. A few times. He seems very stressed, has no nurse or secretary and keeps patients waiting for hours.

His hair is starting to turn grey, he laughs at what I say (not in a good way) and he seems to know what he's doing, while having no clue what to do next.

And I'm not even gonna tell you what he did to me last week!

He's Yummy!


My flatmate. There's no other word for her. She's tall, thin, a brunette. She's gorgeous.

(sorry bout the copyrighted photo, I couldn't find one quite as perfected without the big X)

Right now she's on the veranda, wearing huge sun glasses (no, I'm not spying, my great view of the city also includes a great view of the veranda.. and their great view of me..) with a guy I can only assume is her boyfriend. Although not the boyfriend she had six months ago, I think this one is new.

He's wearing funny shorts and just took his shirt off.

...and there he put it back on...

I kinda feel sorry for the guy - all he must want to do is get her in the sack. And there he is, stuck out on our veranda. Reading. Pretending to concentrate. When all he can think of is getting her naked.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Bergen Car Crash

I can't help but think, "Where's the rest of the car?!"

But that's it. It's all there.

It got crushed between a truck and the mountain side today. Miraculously the 33 year old woman driving the car sustained only minor injuries. The police says she must have a guardian angel - no one ever survives something like that.

I've never been in a car crash. The closest I've come was once when my dad backed into a tree, and once in high school during our russ celebration (our car was so robust you could barely see a scratch in the paint... the other car looked a little worse).

In the news you only really hear of the people who die in accidents so for once it's good to hear of one that went well. I can't imagine what it must be to be so close to dying, getting out of something like that alive, even without serious injuries... One of those life changing incidents, maybe?

Calling wife ugly illegal in Malaysia

Calling one's wife ugly may soon be considered an offense under a Malaysian law that seeks to protect a woman both physically and emotionally.

Women's Development Department director-general Noorul Ainur Mohd Nur said emotional violence was a form of abuse that scars women deeply and lowers their self-esteem, dignity and self-confidence.

"It could be a case when a husband tells his wife she is ugly or humiliates her until she feels emotionally pressured," she told media at the end of a seminar on how to curb violence against women.

The government is in the process of bringing the proposed amendment to parliament. (,

A good way to deal with psychological abuse... or a little over the top?

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Hedgehog Sex

Apparently it is close to impossible to see, let along catch on tape, two hedgehogs having sex. But last week a man in Leikanger, Norway came home to find two of them go at it on his freshly mowed lawn.

Having sex with another hedgehog is supposed to be painful but the man said the male did not seem to mind (though he did have to take a few breaks), while the female seemed to experience some discomfort.

There is a saying which seems very appropriate in this case...

"Etter den søte kløe kommer den sure svie."

...which I'm not sure exists in English (at least I haven't been able to find it), but would be something like "after the sweet itch comes the nasty burning [sensation]".

Something like that (I suck at translating), but it seemed to fit for two hedgehogs going at it.

Check out the video at

Monday, May 25, 2009

Håkon Lie's Obituary

One week ago Norwegian newspaper BA wrote an article about a video-obituary of former politician Håkon Lie, a giant within the Labour party, which was published on the web pages of TV-company NRK.

The problem was that the man was 103 years old - and still alive!

After having been made aware of the mistake, NRK quickly removed the video, marked "DO NOT PUBLISH" from their web page. They did not know how long it had been there, or how it got there.

Today, one week later, Håkon Lie died.

Weird coincidence or creepy conspiracy?

Poll: Flags

Sometimes I link to articles in Norwegian newspapers, which is a little pointless for anyone who doesn't speak the language. So I thought it might be a good idea to indicate in the link which language the article is in, maybe with a tiny flag.

Of course that means it's indecision time - I just don't know whether to use a British flag or an American flag to indicated if the article is in English.


So I'm leaving it up to you.

Poll is on the right, please vote!

Boyd and his pink Boxers

Stationed in Afghanistan's Kunar Province, Army Specialist Zachary Boyd, 19, was rushed out of bed, having no time to get dressed, when his platoon suddenly found themselves under fire.

This photo was printed on the cover of the NY Times, and Boyd feared the consequences when the President saw him out of uniform. Allaying his fears of being out of a job, US Defense Secretary Robert Gates has commented on the incident;
"Any soldier who goes into battle against the Taliban in pink boxers and flip-flops has a special kind of courage.

"I can only wonder about the impact on the Taliban. Just imagine seeing that: a guy in pink boxers and flip-flops has you in his cross-hairs. What an incredible innovation in psychological warfare."

I suppose they are pretty strict when it comes to dress code in the US military... I've only seen one American military guy out of his jeans and he didn't wear underwear at all, so it's good to finally have confirmation they're at least allowed to wear their own lucky boxers!

Boys are Stupid

Last ESC post for now

Last weekend I wrote a post about how we won the Eurovision Song Contest. I also wrote "Expect more tomorrow - I'm not done yet!!".

Well guess what, I was done after all.

It was fun and the guy is still so cute you just want to fold him up and put him in your pocket. And I can't believe he seems not to be gay after all.

But right now there isn't much more to say...

Results: Circumcusion

After a slow start the circumcised ones mobilized, but it wasn't quite enough. The uncut ones won, being almost twice as many - 62.38% against 37.62%.

Good news for those of us girls who like them that way!

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Family Visit

The family came to visit this weekend, bringing my brother's stuff here, and taking some of mine back home.

It's always fun when they come; time to go shopping, and whatever else is going on just has to wait for a few days. Especially when my sis stays at my place - after two minutes(!) in my room it looked like a tornado had swept through.

It's getting closer to summer and Bergen is a great city to be walking around in when the nights are warm and bright - there's people everywhere, short distances. It's starting to dawn on me I might actually miss this place...

The family has just left, I'm gonna check the news and I do believe I have a couple emails I need to answer :)

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Bristol Palin and the Sex

"Girls need to imagine and picture their life with a screaming newborn baby and then think before they have sex … If girls realized the consequences of sex, nobody would be having sex. Trust me. Nobody."
-Bristol Palin-

Honey... you got pregnant at 17 and clearly, judging by your own statement, you did not know how your body works.

That was, what, five years after you first got your period?

Why don't you talk about things you actually know something about?

(I have to admit I have no clue what that would be...)

[In the photo Bristol Palin is with her ex. They broke up a couple months after the baby, Tripp, was born.]

Sunday, May 17, 2009

We won, We won, We won!!!

He did great at the ESC, better than in the semi, and Europe loved him!!

I did my best not to jinx it (not that I believe in that kinda stuff), but it could not matter any less.

He won by a landslide!

I honestly don't know what did it; when I watched him perform this night it was just... right. Everyone else said it was bad, he messed up, but I couldn't quite take my eyes and ears off him.

That has to be a good thing. And it was. I thought it was just my being Norwegian, but apparently there was something more there. Something Europe loved. Some kind of dream. Some kind of fairytale.

Expect more tomorrow - I'm not done yet!!

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Eurovision Song Contest 2009

For the first time ever I'm going to a ESC party. Usually I do my best to ignore the whole thing (which has been harder than ever this year), but I do love to watch the points come in.

This year it could get exciting. Norway is one of the favourites, and we might actually win [*don't jinx it don't jinx it don't jinx it*].

We're having a party, going to drink lots of wine and laugh at all the other contestants (and there's plenty to laugh at!). Then we're gonna try not to get too nervous when the start handing out the points!

Check out Alexander Rybak and his song Fairytale:

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Poll: Circumcision

Jews do it.
Muslims do it.
Apparently Americans do it.

Did you do it?

Any thoughts? Which is better?

New poll on the right, please vote!

edit: Click here for the results!
edit2: Please view the comments for more info and firsthand experience with circumcision. (not mine!)

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Final Goodbye?

You know how when you break up with someone it feels a little strange thinking about them dating someone new? Thinking about them going on with their lives, and you going on with yours without them in it?

I never really felt that way about my ex - I was just happy for him, doing well, being happy, healthy, having fun. Sure I thought that it might feel weird when he started seeing someone, but it never really felt too bad.

Until now. For once it feels... strange. In a bad way. I looked at the calendar and saw it's been exactly six months since we officially broke up. Maybe on some level I knew and started thinking about it?

It's not like I want to get back together with him. There was one big reason we broke up, and that hasn't changed. Maybe I'm just finally letting go, and this is the final goodbye?

Donatella Versace and Jonathan Rhys Meyers

I'd love to say something rude here, but I think the rudest thing I can do is just post the picture and ask you to judge for yourselves.

Saturday, May 09, 2009

Sexual harassment in junior high

I was reading an article in Norwegian newspaper BT about the increasing sexual harassment among teenagers in junior high school. The use of the term itself, sexual harassment, is criticized by many men who say touching a girl's breasts or groin isn't harassment, stating that; the girls themselves, wearing tight jeans and low cut tops, want guys to treat them that way.

The article itself is not shocking so you're not missing out on anything by it being in Norwegian. It was the comments that made me react;
  • All women like to be groped. If they say anything else they're just playing hard to get. (thor)
  • [women] are predators chasing men who should just be castrated so they don't constantly have to be abused by women who trick them because they think with their dicks during some weak moments. (kokken Tor)
  • Inside, all women are wh***s (Reidar)
  • I've had fat, 30 year older men come up to me, put their hand on my stomach and tell me "there's something here that needs to be edited way" while their own stomach is hanging down over the waist of their jeans... (Karen)
  • WTF? The ones being harassed are the boys! Talk about generalizing and ridiculing boys. Girls dress and play hot and dumb. They know which buttons to press to take advantage of the boys. (reykjavikur)

This is just a random selection of the comments but it's actually rather frightening; by far the majority of comments express opinions like these.

I'm amazed how many men secretly believe women are inferior to them; girls should accept classmates touching them; girls are only out for attention; girls are fair game, especially if wearing something tight; they expect and want guys to grope.

I'm sure these are just the most extreme opinions, and most of us are really rather fond of the opposite sex, but still... I gotta ask.

Do you resent the opposite sex?

Thursday, May 07, 2009

Gathering those loose ends

I'm adding a lot of people on Facebook these days. I know it'll probably be another one of those places that has a lot of fans, only to disappear in a couple years, never to be thought of again. But for once I want to try to keep in touch.

On there I'm not apples, I'm the real me. So if I've added you it means I care. At least a little. As a general rule I only add people I've met and want to meet again, so my circle of "friends" has been rather limited thus far.

Now is not any different - I'm adding the people I once knew, and hope to know once more. Or at least talk to once in a while. That includes people from home, family, high school, Uni, flatmates, Amnesty, Uganda, work, you name it.

There are plenty of people I can't find, not all are on there, but no matter. It's fun seeing what those I do find are up to these days :)

Revisited: Kinky test II

Retaking this one from three years ago.

Your result for The What's Your Kink Factor? Test

85% kinkine

More than anything else, you are curious about sex and sexual activity, and you do enjoy stretching your boundaries and those of your partner when you have the opportunity to do so.

Explorers tend to continue the quest-- which means that you are likely to eventually "dabble" in quite a few things sexually. If you scored closer to a "85" than you did to a "66", you are somewhat likely to reach the next stage and become a "Seeker", which puts you in a league with the big boys and girls!

66% last time 85% now?
Alright, fine, celibacy just ain't for me!

Revisited: Kinky test

I found this test from three years ago while doing the labels thing.
I decided to try it again, and here are my results;

Your result for The How Kinky Are You Really Test...

You scored 55% Kinkiness!

You've done all of the positions in most of the books, you've found out about safe-words.

You enact those fantasies which aren't too taboo and play out in your head during sex the ones you aren't sure how your partner will react. Remember, communication is everything, they can always say no or ask for a compromise.

How Kinky Are You?

I still don't agree with the results. But at least it's progress from the 39% last time.

Then again, if scat, wet sex and blood play is what I need to get higher, then I'm fine just where I am! I'm not into that shit (quite literally)... imagine all the laundry I'd have to do!


I'm adding labels to all my old posts (lil tip for all you new bloggers out there - don't wait until you have 843 posts before you start labelling!).

I never started because the labels looked so bad. Now I've got them all neat, tight and in caps so I have to go through everything I've ever written if I'm ever going to get that label cloud.

It's kinda like therapy, going through four years of your life in that way. It's like a diary with a search function - you don't have to read all the boring shit.

You can expect some old posts revisited.
Halfway through, my most frequently used labels are;

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Grocery Store

There's something about the local grocery store that's been bugging me for a few years now. It's a nice store with a reasonably good selection of groceries.

Which is why it sucks when you stop by to pick up a few items and realize they're out of the most basic things. Or you find things that expired one year(!) ago.

Take today. These things were on my list but I had to leave without them;
  • Parmesan (expiration date of 4 months - should have more in stock)
  • Orange juice (expiration date of 1 year, no refrigeration)
  • Canned tomatoes (how do you run out of things in cans??)
  • Canned tuna (the expiration date is like ten years away!)
  • Toilet paper ( comment)
  • Chocolate-cake chocolate (all expired a year ago!)
  • Fresh basil (one left, looked like it had a rash, poor thing)
  • Spinach (they rarely have this, and never get it when they say they will)

Am I the only one who finds this puzzling? I understand it might bug me more than the next person, having practically grown up in a grocery store and learnt that this is absolutely unacceptable, but come on!

Supply and demand people, it ain't that hard!

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Hating the stupid

I hate stupid Blogger and layouts and all the html that gets messed up, and I hate all the tags and codes and things that simply do not exist when they're clearly supposed to do so!

And I hate how it won't make a label cloud, and how archives look stupid, and how impossible it seems to make three columns look nice without messing everything up and switching to layouts and starting over. And even then it still gets messed up!

Elusive Dreams

I think I've figured out why it's so hard to get up in the morning.

Of course, it's mostly because I'm sleepy. Getting up sucks. It hurts having to drag yourself out of bed when it's so warm and comfy.

So I hug a pillow (of which I have many), hit snooze, and roll over.

That's when the problems start. I dream. I seem to have more vivid dreamst after I've woken up and fallen asleep again. They're nice dreams, dreams I don't want to wake up from, and that I really want to see where are going.

Every time the alarm rings after that, it's like I can give the dream a push in the direction I want it to take. I can make myself fall asleep and make the dream start again, and it takes me where I want it to take me.

Then, inevitably, I wake up one last time and can't fall asleep again, with the dream not quite being over. Without really having known that it was a dream and there were no consequences. That I could do anything.

Sunday, May 03, 2009

Changing my mind

I decided not to take my ex up on his offer.

I hate doing that, changing my mind at the last minute - especially about something like that. I don't like feeling like I promised something I couldn't keep, then disappointed someone.

But... I don't know. I should be moving forward, not backwards. I probably just think too much, but if there's one thing I'll never do if it doesn't feel right, it's that.

Voluntary celibacy never killed anyone, did it?


Trying this out since the other one doesn't show who's on!
Feel free to say something :)

edit: it only seems to work if you click the "pop out" box at the bottom right corner.

Saturday, May 02, 2009

Tempting Offer

What do you do when your ex wants you to come by his place of for a bit of fun tomorrow?

Alright, I admit it; when a girl says she misses blow jobs, I guess you gotta expect some offers..

But what do I do?
He looks way better than last time; I look worse. I don't want this to be one of those "man, am I glad to be rid of her or what?!" I'm a little too proud for that.

Of course... I was the one who suggested it... although not exactly as directly as that...

edit: But what if things start feeling different? I'm alright with the way we left things, I really don't want to mess it up. I don't want to start rewriting history... Maybe I should just find someone totally new. Or better yet - someone I just haven't ever thought of in that way yet. That should be better... right?