Christmas Allergies

Merry Christmas everyone!

This Christmas is picture perfect, it looks like Winter Wonderland outside - just like I remember from when I was a kid - a nice change from the rain we've had the past ten years.

I have also discovered I have an allergy. It only seems fair - everybody else seems to have them, no wonder I got one too. I'm allergic to kids.

It makes perfect sense. I'm very rarely sick, and when I am it's just a cold that passes in a few days. But these past few months I seem to only have short breaks between colds - they go on for ever. And the only change? - Kids. I'm obviously allergic.

It truly does suck to have been halfway woozy, have no energy, and worst of all - no sense of taste or smell, for a week now. I know I whine about that every time I get sick but I can't help it! It's the worst thing there is. Imagine a world without taste!

I've been cleaning, cooking, baking, sewing, polishing, decorating and dusting for weeks now, somehow it doesn't seem quite fair that this should be my reward...

I guess my reward is everyone else seems to be enjoying the holidays, and with a turkey in the oven and stuffing in the making it's really not all bad after all :)

Natural Harvest - a collection of semen-based recipes

A cookbook by Paul "Fotie" Photenhauer

FOREWORD
"Semen is nutritious. It contains a good balance of fructose sugars, protein, enzymes, vitamins and minerals. On its own, semen meets the criteria for a low-carb food. In fact, Dr. Atkins would probably have praised semen as an ideal food had it not been considered a faux pas."

Although most of us would find this slightly.. erm.. gross, the author does have some good points. People already eat blood, flesh from animals, we drink milk from what are basically the cow's breasts, we eat liver, caviar. What is caviar? Fish eggs! We're already eating so many strange things, what makes semen different - or worse?

"Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants. Despite all of these positive qualities, semen remains neglected as a food. 

This book hopes to change that. Once you overcome any initial hesitation, you will be surprised to learn how wonderful semen is in the kitchen. Semen is an exciting ingredient that can give every dish you make an interesting twist!"

After being posted online the cookbook had quickly been downloaded 100.000 times. The author decided it was time to make it into an actual book, and since then it has become wildly popular. To read more, see www.cookingwithcum.com.


Unfortunately, I do not have access to any semen so I can't try any of the recipes. If I had had access to semen, I still would not have tried any of the recipes. Sex is fun, food is fun. Sex and food? I'm sure the harvesting of the ingredient would be fun but... "Honey, give me a squirt will you, I'm gonna make hot chocolate with cream"?

I think I'll pass!

Chocolate Spiders

Don't you just love them?

Get over to Katies Corner to find out how to make these little treats.

I'm thinking Halloween... and we really should have a small child in our family.. but to be honest I think my sister and I will do just fine.



...

Election tomorrow

The mayor stopped by with buns.
Not hard to tell the election is tomorrow..

Better make up my mind, it just isn't as easy as it sounds...

___

Which is prettier?

World's Best Diet

Doesn't get any easier than this;

• Sit next to your cat when trying to eat.
• The cat will then stare at you every time you lift the fork.
• You will be overcome with guilt and will not be able to get down one bite.
  

• After a while you give in - this is stupid and the food will get cold.
  
• The cat notices this and follows your every move.
• You then proceed to give half your food to the cat to avoid it staring at you.
  

That's all!

I've effectively reduced your calorie intake by half!
And in the process given you a very stubborn (and potentially overweight) cat.

Enjoy!

Cherries & White Wine

My nail polish matches this year's first cherries.

Or "morello" as they call it here.

Pretentious suckers... I don't care, it's still a cherry.

I've got a riddle for you

What can it be that has been banned by American governments, something so special, so evil, Americans today are not allowed to have access to it.

This is a two year old article from an American newspaper. It warns the public about a certain illegal item which had been banned for ten years before it was discovered in two major cities, brought back by ruthless smugglers:

NEW YORK - Consumer Reports has discovered hazardous and illegal xxx on shelves in food shops in suburban New York and the Washington, D.C. area. The xxx are popular worldwide, but they have been banned in the United States by the Consumer Product Safety Commission since 1997.

The production groups' U.S. arm has fully honored the ban. However, the xxx still manage to make their way into the U.S. stream of commerce and are occasionally available from gourmet food stores, candy merchants, and ethnic importers.

Many of the xxx are imported by companies specializing in foods from countries where the product is available legally. The xxx are also available on the Internet. Until recently, even Amazon.com offered xxx sold by a Greek importer through its Marketplace program.


What can it possibly be, this horrible, evil thing that has the potential to injure, if not kill, Americans, but which Europeans seem resistant to?

Playing Tour Guide

I got to play tour guide again last week when a friend came over from Scotland. We walked around for a couple days, the sun even came out and the view from Fløyen, this tiny little mountain, was great (no clouds!).

It's been a while since I stayed up half the night talking, and I already miss the ravioli with spinach and cheese in spinach-cream sauce at this little place called Baran (which really needs a new design for its page..).

Now I just need to figure out a way to make the IKEA-bed fit back into the storage room, and how to fix the springs of my own.

Good times.

Thong Trouble for McDonald's

The woman was about to order her lunch at a MacDonald's restaurant in the Swedish city of Karlstad, when the employee about to take her order bent down behind the counter, revealing a thong. The costumer was appalled and has now lodged a complaint against the fast food restaurant.

The Swedish FDA (Food and Drug Administration) who recieved the complaint say they have never encountered anything like this. "[What type of underwear one wears] is a matter of preference, I can't see how this could be a matter of hygiene" says FDA inspector Lena Bergman-Bokvist. She has never before heard of a complaint like this.

MacDonald's Sweden apologize for the incident.

Susanna Hörnfeldt, spokesperson for MacDonald's Sweden says they have strickt rules for dresses and trousers worn by their employees. They even have rules for shirts and how many buttons are allowed to be open - which is one. They have never before recieved a complaint about any aspect of their dress code.

Admittedly, the chain does not have specific rules regarding the underwear of their staff.



See people? The only way to go is naked! There's nothing but trouble when you wear underwear! I say let's fry the fries and burn the burgers the way mother nature intended!

- You want me to supersize that heart attack for you?

Chocoholic

"I'm sitting here eating chocolate when
my heart can attack me any minute"

- as heard on tv somewhere

German sues Easter Bunny

A German man has taken legal action against the Easter Bunny for grievous bodily harm.

Karl-Friedrich Lentze, from Berlin, has filed a complaint with prosecutors, accusing it of causing addiction to chocolate which leads to heart attacks, obesity and strokes.

Lentze said: "The Easter Bunny is a sadistic and unscrupulous offender who preys on people's sweet tooth.

"Find this evil bunny, handcuff his paws and remove him from shops in time for Easter."

Public prosecutor spokesman Christian Avenarius said: "We will act upon the complaint with speed and diligence."

Ananova.com

Meat all Pooped

Imagine you're sitting down for dinner one Sunday. You're having lamb roast, it's been in the oven, the table is set and you're cutting it. You cut the first piece and find something dark. More precisely, you find sheep's poo inside your Sunday dinner.

______________________________________________________


Norweigian company Gilde, largest producer and seller of all sorts of meat thought trouble was over for this time after the past months' discoveries of E.coli in some of their products. The bacteria was found after several children around the country suffered kidney failure.

At first, Gilde's minced meat was found as a link between the children. Gilde immedeatly sent out orders to throw away or return a long list of products. Those returned would be tested both by the company, and Mattilsynet, the Norweagian FDA.

Two weeks later Gilde was cleared of all suspicions, only to direct it onto other products such as salami and other cured sausages from the same company. All products were cleared from the shops, as had happened two weeks earlier with the minced meat, and the source of the bacteria was finally found.

This week it came out that company Gilde had sent out several tons of food to shops even after they knew it were infected with the E.coli.

______________________________________________________


Strangely, the poo worries me more than the bacteria. Of course the E.coli is much more dangerous and I'm not someone to go "eeeeek!" when seeing a bug (nor poo), but bacterias are everywhere and although that kind should definitely not be in food, it is impossible to see whether there's anything there or not.

Not so with poo. If it's there, you see it. Not that sheep's poo is particularly large but if two hard lumps are able to get inside your Sunday roast, it must have got there somehow. Do they not clean the animals? Or do they put some poo aside for inspiration? Shouldn't they get that all out before they cut the meat up and wrap it?

The way I see it, the bacteria could get in there without anybody noticing. They should make sure it can't and won't happen, but it's hard to see if it does. Both for them and for us. The poo, although not as dangerous, is easier to spot. If poo gets through, who knows what else does? What other kinds of bacterias have got through, and was this outbreak of E.coli the first, or simply the one everybody noticed?

poo info from vg.no

Anybody up for a tofu burger?

The Kiwi

The prettiest fruit in the world.

The seeds are supposed to taste like pepper if you crush them. I only feel them itching at the back of my throat..

Bad day

I sneezed last night. Nothing scary there, only it feels like I sneezed open a big wound deep down in my throat. I read a bit before I went to bed, it was warm inside so I opened the window for an hour. They don't open much and only on top so I decided it would be alright. Apparantly it wasn't, I woke up with a sore throat, a runny nose and my contacts still in my eyes.

Someone knocked on my door this morning when I just wanted to sleep. It was one of my roommates but I don't know what she wanted cuz I just rolled around in bed. I later found out the bucket and the floor washing... thing in the bathroom was gone so I assume she had decided to clean something. Maybe I've set a good example for the first time ever!

After a lot of rolling around, a bit of reading, a lot of dreaming and a bit of thinking, I decided to get up. My roommate and her boyfriend had left, I decided to make dinner. Everything ready, I put the oven on. It took a long time to warm up so I looked inside. I don't remember what I saw but it was enough for me to open the door and out came a massive wave of smoke. I threw the door shut, opened the veranda door and took off the thing that is in front of the fan above the stove.

I opened the oven door again and the smoke came towards me. I couldn't keep it open as I live in a building where frying an egg can set the fire alarm off, in which case it would go dooooaaaahdooooaaaah in the entire building for half an hour. I managed to leave it open a crack while the smoke went up into the fan, both from the oven and from the rest of the room. I looked inside to see if there was something in there.

What did I see? A pool of something that looked like oil. Like olive oil. It was all over the bottom of the oven and that was what caused all the smoke. "What a wonderful day..." I said to myself as I got down on the floor with loads of kitchen roll, dizzy as I was (my head feels like it's stuffed with cotton), and started mopping up the oil-like substance. It did not smell good, it did not look good and it was not too easy. I'm not in the habit of mopping up burning-hot oil from the inside of warm ovens.

But I did it and I put in the pizza. I was supposed to make it last night when my roommate (not the one who might have cleaned her room) had decided to have a romantic dinner with a potential boyfriend. They were whispering sweet nothings to each other and I found it best to give them a little privacy.

Then I had a shower and felt almost alright for the first time today.

I hope I'm not sick... Surely a sore throat, a runny nose, a head full of cotton, pains in my neck and shoulders, eyes and ears, being warm but feeling like I'm freezing does not constitute 'sick'. Or 'ill'. Or 'having a cold'. Does it?

I hate sick. It makes me feel powerless. Mind over matter, that's what I believe in, but when the matter has decided it wants to be goo for a few days, that just sucks. Lots of fluid isn't that what they say? I'm just worried the cotton will expand and my head will explode.

I think I'll take my chances with some warm milk and honey though. Can't go wrong with warm milk and honey.

Naranja!

I'm eating a naranja I bought in the Canaries. I always do that, I buy fruit and never get around to eating it, but my mum made me bring these home. I'm not quite sure what a naranja really is, but it looks like a mandarin and tastes like an orange. Just my kinda thing! And just listen to the name; naranja. Gosh I love that language :)