Monday, January 31, 2005


I can't sleep!

Yesterday (or this morning) I went to bed at 3:30am. I rolled around, tossed and turned, closed my eyes and opened them again, could not sleep. At 6am, two hours before my alarm was set to go off, I made a cup of chamomile tea and sat down to read something I wrote a couple of weeks ago. I hoped that when I'd had some tea and read something dreadfully boring, I might fall asleep. No such luck. At 8 I was still awake. Couldn't bring myself to get out of bed so I stayed put for another hour.

At 9 I pulled myself out of bed and into the shower, got dressed, had breakfast and left. I had classes at 10, two hours of Methods of Research then two of Developmental Psychology. Luckily the professors we have in those classes can be rather entertaining at times. I sat on about the seventh row today, as opposed to the last two weeks when I've been way in the back, about row 25 (I'm always a little late). I actually got to see the professors today and the guy in Methods was actually kinda cute! Who knew?

I hate not being able to sleep... Sometimes my feet get cold between going to the bathroom and getting into bed (they probably turn to ice while I put on my pj's). I don't notice it until I'm in bed and then there's nothing I can do. I can't sleep when my feet are cold. That's what happened the night before last, I law awake for three hours, feet freezing, too many thoughts in my head. I had too many thoughts in my head last night aswell. Good thoughts though...

And I've been having strange dreams... Well, only two, but I usually never have dreams. The first was about meeting an old man sitting in a chair at the hairdresser's, he had killed two people and I didn't have a clue what to say to him. I think I know why I had this dream, I scared myself a little and I realized I should stop worrying, there's nothing to worry about, what's the worst that can happen? The next night I had a dream that lasted just a few seconds, a few images, like a movie. I don't remember what it was about but it seemed like two scenes from something familar. First one thing, then another. Something changing... Last night I didn't dream anything. I didn't sleep. Well... I still dreamt though...

A lot of people have problems sleeping, I've just never been one of them. I had this a few months ago aswell, for a week or two it took me around two hours to fall asleep. Every night. I think I'm usually a 'good' sleeper - I fall asleep when I get into bed, I wake up when the alarm goes off (then I turn it off and turn around...), when I'm doing something important I never have problems getting up (has to be very important though), I'm a heavy sleeper in the sense that you can make a lot of noise and I usually won't wake up but at the same time I'm not hard to wake up when you need me to, or so I'm told. But I don't know if I talk in my sleep or snore or move around a lot... my teddy bears have never complained.

It's just annoying! I can't control my own sleeping...
Frustrating... But at the same time an interesting experiment :)

A little thought

The wind is threatening to rip the roof off, the rain is hitting my window. It gets quiet sometimes, a few seconds, then it starts again. Usually I can only see the rain blowing past the street lights, but not tonight. It usually comes in from the west but tonight it's coming from the north and it's hitting hard.

I should be in bed now, I've been staying up far longer than I should lately. Tomorrow's Monday morning and I have classes.

A little thought:

Why is it that guys constantly feel the need to talk about their dick on the net? How many times do a girl have to say "no I don't want to see it, no I don't want to hear about it and I most certainly do not want you to do THAT with it" before he gets it? If you want to talk about your dick, go to a chatroom or something. Don't IM me and tell me about it.

That's for the guys who prefer that kind of conversations. To the guys who don't talk about their dicks; I'm so glad you're out there, I love an intelligent conversation (and some less intelligent as long as you don't talk about your genitals).

Oh I finally found my stamps, now I can go to bed.

And it's still raining...

Sunday, January 30, 2005


It's dark outside and it's late but I can't sleep. Stayed up too long yesterday and slept too long this afternoon. I don't want to sleep either. Just watching the cars going by on the bridge, the tv is on but I'm not watching. Looks foggy outside. Probably cold too... It's good to be warm on the inside when it's cold around you. I'm glad I have a warm, comfy bed to climb into though, too many people don't.

I have too many thoughts in my head but at the moment everything seems to be quiet in there.

A really long boat is coming out from under the bridge. There are raindrops on my window. I've put a hat on the lamp standing on my desk. The lamp doesn't work anymore. It's strange how sometimes everything seems dark, not dark as in sad, just dark as in confusing. Then it's like a match is lit and for a little while everything doesn't seem so silly anymore. But it's still a little confusing.

Friday, January 28, 2005

Doris Day porn shocker!

A devout baptist couple were shocked when what they thought was a 1957 Doris Day film turned out to be a porn film.

But pensioners Alan and Anne Leigh-Browne, from Wellington, Somerset, watched the whole film before complaining.

They had bought the DVD of the 1957 U-certificate Pajama Game for £2.99 from a bargain bin at a Safeway supermarket.

But inside the box was Italian movie Tettore che Passione, which translates as Breasts of Passion, reports the Mirror.

Retired doctor Alan, 67, said: "We knew something was amiss when a warning flashed up on the screen advising under-18s not to carry on watching.

"It was a pretty raunchy, explicit film. It certainly pulled no punches. My wife and I were very shocked, but we watched it until the end because we couldn't believe what we were seeing."

The couple had expected to see the harmless story of a bunch of women workers in a pajama factory.

Alan went on: "Topless women appeared and started talking in Italian. We were horrified. The film became progressively more graphic. There was no plot to it - just sex."

Alan and Anne, 60, a retired teacher, are regulars at their local Baptist church.
Morrisons, which owns the Safeway store in Taunton, has promised to investigate.

09:23 Friday 28th January 2005
Copyright © 2005 Ananova Ltd

Now... what was it I really noticed in this text?

Let's see... "My wife and I were very shocked, but we watched it until the end because we couldn't believe what we were seeing."

You sat there for, what, an hour? Hour and a half? Because you couldn't believe it?

Alan, Anne, I don't think ANYBODY buys that... So you wanted to see a dirty movie when it was already there, so what?

Oh, maybe Baptists aren't supposed to watch porn... does anybody know?

Psalms and Dreams

There's this psalm called 'Måne og sol' - Moon and sun. That's the only psalm I like, not that I ever sing or hear any psalms. But I liked this one when I went to Sunday school and put sticky giraffes in a book. Yeah, I went to Sunday school. With my brother. Hated it too.

But this song, Måne og sol, is one I've always liked. I don't know it though, only the first lines and the tune. Or so I though. See, I've always thought the first line was

Måne og sol, vinder og hav
(Moon and sun, winds and oceans)

Well, today I did a search for it. And I found out I've been wrong all along. There's no ocean. The real version is

Måne og sol, skyer og vind
(Moon and sun, clouds and wind)

Where did I get the ocean from? When did I take the clouds out?

I've always loved the ocean. Growing up in a small town with a big lake, mountains all around, summer always meant going to the island where my mum grew up further north. I can see the ocean from my window now, but it's not an ocean, not really. It's a fjord creeping between islands and mountains. A month ago I was able to see the sky touch the sea in the horizon for the first time in... probably for the first time since I was there last, over 5 years ago. That's one of the most amazing things I can imagine... Just looking straight ahead, knowing there's nothing there for miles and miles.

I am gonna get on that boat one day, and I am gonna sail around the Caribbean.... Or the Mediterranean.

Not or - and.


Sunday, January 23, 2005


I'm eating a naranja I bought in the Canaries. I always do that, I buy fruit and never get around to eating it, but my mum made me bring these home. I'm not quite sure what a naranja really is, but it looks like a mandarin and tastes like an orange. Just my kinda thing! And just listen to the name; naranja. Gosh I love that language :)

Saturday, January 22, 2005

The alarm and the lady

You know what happened at 10:15 this morning? Something really annoying? Something that really shouldn't happen on a Saturday morning, especially when it happened last night as well?


That's right. The fire alarm. I was half awake and it sounded weird. Then it stopped a little bit, it's funny how it does that, there's no sound in your room but you hear it from the hallway outside and from the other floors. It kept going and then it got quiet in here. I thought it had stopped because I couldn't here anything from the hallway or our kitchen either but then I heard a gentle doooaaadoooaaa from some other part of the building.

I gave up sleeping and wondered if I should go outside... Got dressed, put in contacts, brushed teeth. Alarm still going. Not gonna stop is it? I figured I'd go to the shop to buy something for breakfast, couldn't even hear myself think in here and maybe it would have stopped by the time I came back.

So out I went. Beautiful day, it's been snowing and the sun was shining on the mountains on the other side of the city. The sky was blue, the air was clear... I love being up early in the mornings, especially when the weather is like this, it just happens way too rarely (both getting up early and the weather being good). When I was halfway there (takes about 3 mins), an old lady stopped me. She asked me "isn't it wonderful when the sun shines?" (didn't shine on us, have to go to the other side of the bridge for that). We started talking a little, something Norwegians never don't do with people they just meet on the road (road is more correct than street in this case).

She asked if I was going to the store, and she said that was a good idea because there aren't so many people in the mornings. I said the fire alarm had gone off so I just needed to go out a little bit, and we started talking about the houses in the area, and the rent. She told me she had lived in the same house for 53 years, she pays less rent for a whole apartment than I do for my one room. She was 80 years old, but she didn't look 80, didn't sound like it either, not compared to my grandparents who are 80 and 81, and can't lead a conversation, much less walk to the store. She said I couldn't be too old, was I 18?

She was nice. I liked her. I generally like old people, unless they act old. Isn't that how it's supposed to be though; we don't like old people and sick people? I love how old people tell stories, and it's totally cool when old people talk about sex. My grandparents are the other kind of old, they don't tell stories, and they most certainly don't talk about sex (thank goodness for that). They don't walk either and they just sit there when we go to visit them. I just hope they're happy though, that's all that matters. But it's hard for me to imagine that they are...

I hope I'm fun-old and not boring-old in 50 years from now.

I just kept smiling after I met that woman. Sometimes that happens, when I talk to someone and it's a beautiful day, I just smile. Then I keep smiling for hours and people look at me like I'm a little funny. But so what? It's a beautiful day and it's good to be alive.

Now I have to clean my room...
see, not even THAT can get this silly grin off my face

Fire alarms


Have you met my fire alarm? They all went off a couple of minutes after midnight. They used to do that when we all first moved in here in August, but they set it up and it's worked like it should (meaning not going off) ever since.


My roommates and I wondered whether to go out, two of us ended up going to find out what was happening. We didn't get outside because the door was locked. If there had been a fire in the corridor we had to walk through instead, we'd have been in trouble. They emergency exit door was locked. And our keys didn't fit.


When we got down to the first floor, it stopped. People started going back up so we did the same.



Now what?? If there was a fire, the alarm shouldn't start and stop like this! And if there is no fire then it shouldn't go off in the first place!

Oh. It stopped. Wonder what's on TV...


Again?? That's the third time!! What if people are sleeping? This better stop soon...

I think it stopped. Oh no, don't say stopped, I'll jinx it.

Friday, January 21, 2005

What 2004 Hit Song Are You?

100 Years by Five for Fighting
"Every day's a new day...
15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to choose
Hey 15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live"

2004 was about thinking and reflecting - but isn't every year?

I can't believe this is supposed to be my song... Someone sent it to me last spring and I listened to it over and over again. I've never heard it on the radio or TV or anything so I thought it must have been one of those great songs that aren't 'pop' enough. Like Little Blue. But then it appears to have been a hit. How strange...

Good choice, Blogthings :)

Once upon a time...

I should write a post about a woman named Shelly who has a blog right here on Blogger. But I think you should check out her blog for yourself because I could not possibly do her justice.

Some of you might know that I spent almost a year, between high school and University, as an au pair in the small town of Saint-Rémy-lès-Chevreuse (just outside of Paris), France. I lived with a British family, looking after two children, Eloïse and Sebastian. It was the best year of my life. The kids were... well, little devils, in the beginning, but I think I became more of a friend than an au pair in the end. One day not long before I left, one of them said "Anne is funny" and giggled a bit...

It was a nightmare in the beginning, but when they knew they had to respect me, and that I wanted to have fun, just like them, things went great. Children and animals are easy when the parents/owners aren't around. I can be myself and people tend to love me when I am myself. Being happy is what it's all about, isn't it? When you're happy, you sort of.... radiate something. The first two of the last four weeks I was there, I was falling in love; the third week I was broken hearted and by the fourth, I was starting to realize how much I was going to miss everybody.

Children do something to you, and although I've never wanted any myself, I've always thought I'd end up having 3 or 4. I think love, as in finding someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, is more important, but I also realize that this is just my opinion. Finding that guy... I don't know if that will ever happen, but I don't want a family unless I find him. And I don't even know if he exists. But I do know that I already miss Seb and Eli, and I promise I'll come visit you my sweeties, even if it will cost me the last of my student loan.

I want to say 'Thank you' to Shelly and her blog (no I am most certainly NOT over-doing it with the URLs). It's taught me just a little bit more about life. It's reminded me of some things I do not want to forget. And it's showed me that gummy bugs can be scary. Thank you, Shelly. And once again, all the best.

I want to write in my blog.

I want to write in my blog.

I don't know what to write in my blog.


I think I'm going crazy. Can you miss something you've never had, miss someone you've never met? Can you you want to have a feeling you've never had before, yet realize it's EXACTLY like before?

Is it even "in" my blog? Or is it "on"?

Today I didn't do anything. Big surprise. I did start reading a little bit. About three pages on 'Methods in Behavioral Research' before I had dinner, then I watched "40 Days & 40 Nights" cuz I thought I'd never seen it before, but it turned out I had. Some funny lines in that movie and I just love the flower scene...

I have to write a post about my dream of Tuscany... Just thinking about it...

Sunday, January 16, 2005


I got back to Bergen at 10 last night. I took a cab from the station, the radio on and Elvis' Crying in the Chapel was on. As we were driving across the bridge In the Ghetto came on. That is one of my favourite songs although I don't really have favourite songs. It was just weird hearing that song while driving back to... where I live. I can say I live here by now can't I? The song must have ended just as we came here because I heard the woman on the radio talking when the driver took my bags out.

I waited for the elevator, rode it all the way up, and walked down the hallway. I opened the outside door, got my bags inside, then the door to my room. As I opened it, it smelled... a lot like wood. A lot like the way it did when I first got here five months ago. And kinda like my uncle's house on the island up north, but I think that's because it smelled like wood. The walls looked so white and empty, it was like they were staring back at me. The light was odd and I didn't have time to clean it before I left so I'm gonna do that today. We're not allowed to put up posters or put any kind of nails into the walls to put pictures on there. I've respected that so far but I don't think I will for much longer. They only have those rules cuz they don't want people to put lots of ugly nails and big holes in the walls, which I won't dream of doing anyway. I just need to find some pictures.

I'd love to get some of my photos up here. Not that I'm good at taking photos or anything (as my appleshots will prove), but I've got a few lucky ones. But I'd have to have them printed A4 size plus I'd need some kind of frame... I'm just afraid it'll cost too much. I don't have ANY money right now, I've spent more than I can afford and I won't be buying food or anything else the next couple of months. Well, maybe food. Bread and water. But not much else. I'm fine with that, I knew that was gonna happen before I went home for Christmas - gifts and going away kinda decapitated by budget (not that I have a budget) but that's ok. I had a good time and now it's time to pay the price. But my walls do look horribly empty.

What might be even worse is that the place actually did smell almost new when I got back. I haven't made this place smell like mine. Maybe I should mark my territory by peeing in the corners? Or trying pot-purri? Mm.... I'll have to find out what kind of smells I like and then find something that smells like that and then do something or other so that the place smells like that. How do you do that? Does anybody know?

I wanna start another blog where I put those lucky shots of mine in... I just have to think of a name for it... Any ideas?

Thursday, January 13, 2005


We've been home for 12 hours, I've unpacked my bags and been getting ready to start packing again tomorrow; I'll be going back to Bergen on Saturday. I'm light brown now, my hair has light blonde highlights and I can still feel the warmth of the sun on my skin. I feel like a sun-kissed tomato... Not that I really got sunburnt even once. I did look like a fried lobster one day but that was just on a small area of my body and it was light brown the next evening. Nothing a bit of Nivea After Sun Lotion can't fix. Man I love that stuff... it's like summer in a bottle. And it smells so good...

Speaking of so good... One thing I missed since I was in the Canaries last time was feeling salt on my lips. Not just salt but swimming in the ocean (or splashing around anyway), having a shower and still tasting the sweet salty taste of the sea on my lips.

And emptying my bikini of sand. Yes, I wore a bikini! I never wear a bikini... Not because I have anything against bikinis in general, I just don't wear them. But I do have a green yummy looking one and why shouldn't I wear a bikini when everyone else is wearing one? Hmm? Well, I wore a bikini and I emptied it of sand. End of story.

I also took 225 photos, or probably a bit less since my camera seems to turn them both ways before counting them... I think. I'll have to find an online album thingy that will host many many photos in the same album. I've got an account at PictureTrail with a few pictures from my first album in it, but they don't give you a whole lot of space.

Now I've just got to knock a few crazy dreams out of my head and I'll be ready for another semester. I tell myself that daydreaming is a waste of time sometimes, especially when my dreams are completely unrealistic, but I think it's the telling myself off that is a waste of time. When nothing is happening around me I live inside my head. I wish I could write... I'd write for days on end about nothing and everything, about my life and dreams, about what could be and what can be.

I love you baby
And if it's quite alright
I need you baby

Those lines have been going through my head all day. I have no idea why. I figured it must be Frank Sinatra singing (the voice in my head couldn't belong to anybody else) so I pulled out all the Sinatra songs on my mp3 player and pressed 'play'. Five seconds into the first song I realized it had to be the one...

Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You

I think I love this song...

alright, I'll admit it, I can be a hopeless romantic sometimes (no really, my heart isn't made of ice. honestly.)

At long last love has arrived
I thank God I'm alive

I feel like fall in love... any volunteers?