Friday, February 26, 2010

Sportscheck's one-eyed Adidas monster

German sporting goods store Sportscheck's newest advertising strategy consists of showing as much as possible of their models to increase attention and sales. So they put this guy in a little blue Adidas thing.

Unfortunately, they didn't think he was showing quite enough so they decided to let some more of him peek out.

Whether this bold new tactic was aimed at the girls or the guys is hard to say - either way, they have received quite a lot of attention the past few days. But naturally they claim it wasn't planned, that it wasn't an accident, right?

Actually, they've refused to comment on it at all according to Norwegian newspaper VG.

All I can say is.. although it is a little hard to take your eyes off it (which probably means their strategy worked), I'm glad most guys have smaller dicks than that one! Can you imagine seeing little one-eyed monsters peeking out at you like that whenever you go to the beach?

Guys, wear shorts, Please!

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

The sun is back!

It disappears for four months each winter and now it's finally back.

Just to dispel a myth, and answer the inevitable question - no, this does not mean it's dark four months a year in Norway. It simply means where I'm from, we don't get direct sunlight between mid October and February 24th.

The reason for this is Norway's mountains. When the sun is at it's lowest point in the sky (winter solstice - December 21st for the northern hemisphere), due to the tilt of the earth's axis the rays have no chance of making it over the mountains and down into the valley between them.

It looks something like this (no laughing please, I only have a tiny eee and a sucky touchpad with malfunctioning buttons);

This is more or less what the valley looks like, lake in the bottom, our house the red one on the left. The yellow sun is the "summer sun" - it's high in the sky (the northern part of the earth is tilting towards it), the orange "winter sun" is lower in the sky.

Clearly, no direct sunlight does not mean it's pitch black outside, which a lot of people seem to think - although when the sun is at its lowest point we only have light for around five-six hours a day. Basically, we're in the shade for one third of the year - it's dark and it's cold.

Which hopefully explains (in the simplest way possible) why I'm so the glad the sun "is back" - it means a little warmth, a little light, and only a little more time until spring comes!

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Do I miss sex?

My good friend Sleepy asked me if I don't miss having sex. He knows it's been a while, and, I'm sure, felt a need to brag about his recent exploits. Then again, chatting with a girl once, then flying halfway across the country to spend the weekend in her bed does give bragging rights.

So.. do I miss sex? How long has it been...? Since I left the city and moved out here into the middle of nowhere. I guess both yes and no;
  • No because it's been a while, first you need it, you gotta have it, then you settle into the routine of not getting it. Plus cuz of the grooming that's required...
  • Yes for the obvious reasons - you miss getting a little sumthin sumthin, I miss the excitement, the feeling, being that close to someone. Feeling a big hard... well you get the picture. Girls have needs too, and sometimes I don't quite know what to do with myself. (TMI?)

Do I miss sex? Well, I hope I'm not considered a nun quite yet. But yes, I do. I miss the excitement, the happiness and the satisfaction. But I don't miss the routine that develops in a relationship, and I don't really do one night stands. Maybe I need an FGF?

Friday, February 19, 2010

Monday, February 15, 2010

Vancouver 2010 on Facebook

Vancouver 2010 Olympics: Ever see 1,500 people dancing (and singing) in the street? / Avez-vous déjà vu 5000 personnes danser et chanter dans la rue?

The sentence is the same in both languages. The number... not so much.

I think Canadians have a very unique way of counting.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Happytime with my Bible

I'm sitting quietly on my bed reading the Bible when my mum walks in and sees me.

"I'm reading the Bible", I tell her.

I just loved her reaction..

"No... Oh my!" she said, sighed, shook her head and rolled her eyes at the same time.

I had to tell her the reason I was doing so was someone had tried to argue that;
1) the Bible says catholic priests have to be celibate, and
2) only the Quran says homosexuals should be killed

Both statements were false, naturally, and I was looking for this;
"If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall be put to death, their blood is upon them (Lev.20,13)

Crazy ass Christians...

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

The Guy With The Latex Sheets

A couple years ago I was at work at the mall in Bergen. I walked past some guys, one had a microphone in his hand and wondered if he could ask me some questions. I didn't have the time, I had to hurry back to work.

I walked up the stairs and the guy came running after me. He seemed nice, if a little pushy and a bit older than me. His microphone was shoved in his back pocket. When we got to the shop he said he needed some help. He was looking for sheets, you see.

Sheets. Right. We had plenty of those. He asked if we had any in latex.
"You know, because things can get a bit messy sometimes" *wink wink*. Yeah... no sorry, we didn't have any of those. At that, he made a flirty comment I can no longer remember, and left.

I thought of that guy again today when I was reading a post on a Norwegian blog about sex toys, body paint, massage oil and the like. The oil always seemed so messy to me - how do you manage to play around with the sticky stuff without leaving stains all over? The solution may be getting a latex sheet.

It is kinda hard to be spontaneous if you have to change the sheets before you start though... anybody got any better ideas?

As for the guy, I saw him again a week later. He was jogging past the building where I lived as I came outside. He stopped fifty yards up the road, just outside the window of the apartment, bent down and fiddled with his shoes until I'd passed him, which was when I recognized him.

I'm sure if he lived in the neighbourhood I'd seen him many times before.. it only took a microphone and a few comments about latex sheets for me to notice him (I wouldn't recommend that as a pick up line though, it probably won't have the desired effect!).

Or who knows, maybe he was a secret agent spying on me from the place I worked and outside the apartment. He probably had a tiny camera and binoculars with him, and there's a thick dossier on me on someone's desk somewhere...

A jogging latex spy.
I like!

Changing Perceptions of Normality

It's a happy day for Norwegian transvestites.

The Directorate of Health has decided to remove transvestism, sexual fetishism and sadomasochism from its list of disorders and diagnoses.

The Director of Health says their goal is to change the idea that certain sexual preferences and identities can be seen as illnesses. Homosexuality was a diagnosis in Norway until 1979 and changing perceptions is a very slow process.

A simple search on google reveals a lot of people seem to mix the terms transvestite and hermaphrodite (recently replaced by the term intersexual). This can possibly be done deliberately by some to sell access to their sites, or it could simply be ignorance. It never ceases to amaze me how those who are the most hateful are often the most ignorant among us..

Either way, I admire those who are different and dare express it - I may not understand half the fetishes out there, I may not want wish to be a transvestite and I may never have tried out S&M.. but that certainly doesn't mean anyone should be labeled as having a disorder simply because they like lace panties or enjoy a good spanking once in a while.

Norway's changed, who's next?