Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Sun

The sun now rises at precisely 6am. I know this because I was up. That happens about once every five years and now I am proud!

Tomorrow June will be here and it'll only get lighter for another three weeks. The next six weeks or so it won't be dark unless there are [very] dark clouds in the sky.

It sets around 10:30pm here, farther north not at all.

This ain't called the land of the midnight sun for nothing, you know!


In other news, I just realized warm air has a shadow. I was putting my dinner in the oven, the sun shining through the window. I didn't see any steam coming up but it showed clearly on the wall. I shut the oven door and it stopped. I opened it and it started. It looked pretty much like it does when the sun shines through trees far away and you see a gentle waving motion.

Now I feel proud AND smart!

Washing Clothes

I've been washing all my clothes today. I don't like washing clothes anymore. Don't get me wrong - I never used to like it, but I didn't use to mind either. Lately I've just got rather fed up with it, it's not like I have to do much, just get the clothes downstairs, in the machine, in the dryer if they're sheets and towels, otherwise put them up to dry, then in a few days, fold them and put them in the closet.

It's not hard work, it's just the remembering to do all this. And the actually doing it. Take today for example. Underwear. A ton (pretty literally) of tiny thongs. It is absolutely impossible to put them up to dry; they just keep falling off the line! I'm seriously considering a) wearing nothing but boxer shorts, or b) wearing no underwear at all.

Today, after putting the clothes up, I went to the shop to buy some more laundry detergent. I bought two boxes, one for white clothes and the other for coloured clothes. That should last about a year... I walk in the door to my room and the smell hits me. It's not bad, as such, it's just warm, wet clothes mixed with...soap. I don't like the smell of this laundry detergent...

That's when I realize I'd just made sure this is how my room is going to smell every time I've wash my clothes, for an entire year. How stupid can you get? (- don't answer that)

A Voice

I know it's possible to miss people. I've done that once or twice. You can miss things or places or your pet or your car. But can you miss the sound of somebody's voice? I mean... wouldn't it be more natural to miss the person the voice belonged to rather than the actual voice? What if this voice was one that, only thinking about it, made you dream. A voice that sounded safe and soft, yet strong and powerful. I love voices, and when I find one I like, it seems only natural to miss it...

Monday, May 29, 2006

Penis Requests a Raise

I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

I do physical labor

I work at great depths
I plunge head first into everything I do
I do not get weekends off or public holidays
I work in a damp environment
I don't get paid overtime
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
I work in high temperatures
My work exposes me to contagious diseases


Dear Penis,

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

You do not work 8 hours straight
You fall asleep on the job after brief work period
You do not always follow the orders of the management team
You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing
You'll retire well before reaching 65
You're unable to work double shifts
You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed the day's work. And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.

Sincerely,
The Management

Sunday, May 28, 2006

- Help, he's killing us!

[just one of the everyday things that happen in our world today]


This was the message the 13 year old gave to the police over the phone. She had then managed to escape the appartment where her 12 year old friend was lying dead.

The 13 year old girl was seriously injured after having been raped and stabbed by a 26 year old man.

The dreadful family tragedy happened in an appartment a little south of Stockholm, Sweden, Friday night.

The two girls, best friends, were babysitting the 12 year old's little brother with the man, expressen.se writes.

The girls were going to have pizza and the 13 year old was staying over, the girl told friends.

But the evening took a sudden turn when the step father called the 12 year old into her younger brother's room.

It is at this time uncertain whether he raped her, before he killed her, stabbing her several times, before the eyes of the six year old boy.

He then attacked the 13 year old friend.

- Will kill you tomorrow

After having stabbed the girl with the knife, he made her take off her clothes.

- Take your clothes off, we're gonna fuck, are the words he used, according to aftonbladet.se.

He then stabbed the girl several times threatening to kill her.

- I'm going to kill you too, but I'm going ot wait until tomorrow. Then I'm going to kill myself, he told her.

After that the 26 year old went to sleep. He forced the 13 year old to lie down next to him. She escaped as soon as he fell asleep.

- Like a buther's house

The man was still sleeping when the police came to the appartment. The sight which met them was dreadful.

- It looked like a buther's house, one police officer said.

The 26 year old, still sleeping, was covered in blood. When the police woke him up, he was disturbed.

- I've been fighting with wolves, I think I killed one of them, he told the police, according to aftonbladet.se.


The police assumed he was in a psychosis. The man is known to mix rohypnol and liqueur, and is previously convicted of a crime.

He was taken away, chained on hands and feet.

In the same room as the man was his six year old son still asleep. The boy has now been taken care of by the child services.

Denies it

The 13 year old girl has had surgery and is now stable.

- She's had surgery and is as well as can be expected, considering the circumstances, says the girl's grandmother to aftonbladet.se

The 26 year old denies having performed the acts. He says he remembers nothing of what happened in the appartment.

- He is a bad mental state, says his lawyer Bo Hegestam.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Boing



Punched in the face

It had stopped raining when I was walking over to the Uni about an hour ago. I suddenly realized how quiet it was, stopped and looked up. With that, a blanket of rain came down over us.

The rain only lasted for a few seconds before it turned to hail. The size of golf balls. At least they felt like it - largest things I've ever seen. Although we're used to all kinds of weather over here, I was glad when I got inside a couple minutes later - this hail storm kinda hurt.

Add to that my very sensitive skin and I now look like I've been punched in the face a few times. It's not a goood look.

- is it just me or are we not supposed to have hail storms in May?

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Breast Feeding A Terrorist Act?

Deborah Wolfe, a Canadian citizen who was breast-feeding her son and changing his diaper while en route between Houston and Vancouver, says her "subversive" actions led to her being threatened with detainment, police involvement and legal charges for terrorist action against a U.S. citizen in international airspace while on an American flight during a time of war.

Wolfe says it started during the final leg of a trip back to Vancouver from Florida, when a man seated near her on the Continental Airlines flight took offence to her nursing her 4-month-old son and complained.

Continental Airlines spokesman Rahsaan Johnson said the airline does not have a policy that prohibits breast-feeding on board. But Wolfe says a flight attendant told her that if someone - anyone - complains, the mothers are supposed to change diapers in the bathroom and nurse at the back of the plane. This has its own unpleasant connotations, never mind the fact that passengers must stay in their seats during takeoff, landing and turbulence.

Wolfe began to nurse the baby again, using her own bib and blanket. She says the man got out of his seat, walked over to hers and stood staring at her. She says she approached him afterward and twice asked if he had a problem with her feeding her son.

"He marched past me and to the very back of the cabin to talk to the flight attendant," she wrote. "He told her, 'This woman just assaulted me.' ... He then explained that the asking of two questions by a 'foreign national' in international airspace made him feel the victim of terror and as such he wanted to file an assault charge."

She says the flight attendants also began to call her and her travelling party "foreign nationals in international airspace on an international flight during a time of war." And she was informed both of the complaint and that it could be upgraded to a Level 3 (having passed through levels 1 and 2), which meant possible mandatory detainment by U.S. authorities for 24 hours, police involvement and criminal charges for an act of war upon an American.

Wolfe says, in the end things were resolved when she signed a document promising that she would neither break Continental's rules about such things, nor speak to American passengers.

adapted from CrazyNews.com


--- Alright I get it, you don't want a diaper in your face, in the next seat, across the aisle, that's fine. You also don't like seeing a woman's breasts being used for what they were originally intented for. That's fine, I get that. But to consider her a terrorist? Either this guy just enjoys abusing the rights he has been given in place of his privacy being violated the past years... or he is seriously uptight and in need of something relaxing...

I'm in that situation myself; seriously uptight and in need of something relaxing. People have suggested hot baths but that's no good. I know what works for me and it's a lot dirtier than a bath...

Still, it doesn't make me go around seeing terrorists.

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Ever been to Penisland?

Ever seen a funny URL? I found these on bt.no, originally posted by /spadassin/.

http://www.PenisLand.net
No, it's not an adult theme park
(although now I kinda wish it was). It's a page where they sell pens, Pen Island.

http://www.WhorePresents.com
Not a page which presents whores, and you can't find any presents there either. Who Represents is a site where you can quickly find the names of celebrities' agents.

http://www.ExpertSexChange.com
I doubt if it's as good as it sounds, Experts Exchange claims to find the "best resources and information on the web"

http://www.TheRapistFinder.com
Luckily not one of those pages by the, let's call them crazy people, who put out lists over all the rapists in the area so guys can go beat them up. This isn't it. This is Therapist Finder.

http://www.MolestationNursery.com
Not as bad as it sounds, Mole Station Nursery is located in New South Wales, Australia.

http://www.GashEating.co.uk
Considering gash is a term for the female genitalia, this could be a rather pleasant page. Unfortunately, Gas Heating is something as boring as a page about central heating.

http://www.PowerGenitalia.com
Power-Gen Italia... Electricity in Italy. A little disappointed...

Friday, May 19, 2006

The Underwear Oracle

What Your Underwear Says About You

When you're bad, you're very bad. And when you're good, you're still trouble!

You are childlike (or childish), and prone to run around in your underwear.




-- I can't really argue with this one...

Small white men...

«Help, small white men are coming up out of the fjord!».

After recieving this call, the police drove out to the cabin near Bergen, Norway. The men who placed the call said they were scared and asked the police to protect them from the ghost-like creatures who were threatening them.

When the police arrived at the cabin, they found no little white men, but something else altogether. A group of friends, two men and one woman, smoking pot, completely wasted, obviously hallucinating. In the cabin with them was the woman's 3 year old daughter.

They also discovered 23,7 kilo (52 lb) of marijuana, 314 grams (11 ounces) of amphetamine and around 9,000 pills containing flunitrazepam, aka. Rohypnol.

Rather than being saved from the little white men, the three friends found themselves arrested, charged with posession of quite a few illegal substances, the value of which were estimated at around $200,000.

One lawyer argues that his client should go free because «all he did was help count the pills», while the lawyer representing the woman, 22, whose daughter was also in the cabin, says the judge should go easy on his client. «She's even responsible for a small child.»

Whether the court has sympathy for the young responsible, pot-smoking, drug-hiding, ghost-seeing mother and her friends, remains to be seen.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

You know you've hit rock bottom...

...when a guy would rather fold his laundry than sleep with you.

Monday, May 15, 2006

Erotic Economics?

There was a clitoris in the sink today.
Well, it probably wasn't, but it sure looked like one.


The past days I've been sitting outside reading. A week ago we had 25 degrees and July appeared to have come. Sitting outside I'm able to concentrate a whole lot better than inside where my mind starts drifting. I thought guys were the ones who were supposed to think about sex every four minutes? To me it happens every time the book gets boring. How often that is? It's economics, you do the maths.


F(cK,cL) = 2(cK)(cL) = c²2KL = c²F(K,L).

The result of multiplying each input by c in this production function is thus to multiply the original output level by c². Output thus grows more than in proportion to input growth in this case [with proportional growth, we would have had output equal to cF(K,L)], so this production function has increasing returns to scale. Thus, for example, if c = 2 (a doubling of each input), we get F(2K, 2L) = 2(2K)(2L) = 4(2KL), a quadrupling of output.


...mmm... somewhere warm... outside... it would be fun to... and the guy could... mmm.... careful no one is watching... oh yeah right there! could I... with you.... do you like that?


I don't think this is entirely my fault though, my mind drifting off like that. Not the fact that it's boring, not in itself, but it's what we actually have to learn. They are clearly intentionally leading perfectly innocent and proper young women astray, making us read about things such as KINKED CONSTRAINTS and the INPUT-OUTPUT RELATIONSHIP. It's preposterous!


Oh honey, I love your Long-Run Expansion Path!

Sunday, May 14, 2006

From the Barracks to the Bed Rocks

"Originally, I wanted to help people, and that's why I joined the Self-Defense Force. But when I got there, I learned the job was tough, it literally stank, it was boring and the pay sucked. I enjoyed the car maintenance and classes on disassembling artillery, but the pay was only about 3 million yen a year. The most enjoyable part of living on base was the food and the sex. Perhaps it was those two things that inspired me to drop out of the force and move into the world of adult video," says Airi Tojo.

Becoming increasingly more common in the Japenese porn industry is women from walks of life you would not usually think lead to the adult movies. Among them are B and C celebrities, reporters, TV announcers and atheletes. In addition to the familiar fantasies of flight attendences, maids and young nannies, the Japanese audience is now embracing the familiar faces.

One of the new additions to the industry is a former employee of the government-owned broadcaster NHK. Having worked on the traffic report for the channel she only made it to the screens a few minutes a day, and the stress was too much; "I've always enjoyed making love and all the stress made me enjoy it even more." The reason behind this new trend, embraced by the audience, is said to be that it gives the actress a "forbidden fruit" appeal.


The celebs I can understand but the army?

"The most enjoyable part of living
on base was the food and the sex."


Now I'm really curious what's going on out there...
as explored on the Asian Sex Gazette

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Bloody Mary

One person died after a fight on board the cruise ship Queen Mary II Friday.

The killing took place in international waters, the ship being British, the British police are now on the ship investigating.

Queen Mary II was the largest cruise ship ever made when it was completed in 2003 and has room for 2,620 passengers and a crew of 1,253.

Eric Flounders, spokesperson for Cunard who owns the ship says a member of the crew, a 49 year old man, has been detained on board.The injured man, 40, also a member of the crew, had been transported by helicopter to a hospital in the Netherlands, where he later died, the ship continuing on to Bergen, Norway.


The man will stay on the ship until the British police
can transport him to Britain.



So that's the huge ship outside my window...

Friday, May 12, 2006

Pick up lines

There are good ones, there are bad ones and there are the horrible. I think we can all agree that the reason they sometimes work is that they are just what they are - cheesy little lines meant as a way to start a conversation.

But as with anything and everything in life, it is not necessarily what you say that is the most important thing - it's how you say it. Only about 5-10% of our first impression of a person consists of the words the person says, the other 90-95% is body language; how they stand, sit, look at you, and the tone of their voice.

Even so, it does matter what comes out of your mouth (and what might end up inside it a little later);


What was that?
  • So, you're a girl huh?
  • Do you have a boyfriend?
    [No]
    Want one?
    [Yes]
    Well, when you want a MANfriend, come and talk to me.
  • I'd suck a fart out of your ass and hold it like a bong hit.
  • If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?
  • Guy: I bet you're a C-cup.
    Girl: How'd you know that?
    Guy: My testicles are the same size.


No, no, no!
  • Hey baby you're so fine you make me stutter, wha-wha-what's your name?
  • Roses are red, violets are blue, I have warts, so will you.
  • Beww BEWWW Beww
    (What?)
    That is the sound of the ambulance coming to pick me up because when I saw you my heart stopped!
  • Excuse me, but you have a beep on your nose.
    (What?)
    (Reach up and gently squeeze her nose) BEEP!


That's cute
  • I can sense that you're a terrific lover, and it intimidates me a little.
  • There's this movie I wanted to see and my mom said I couldn't go by myself.....
  • I'm trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I'm allergic to sex.
  • I'm Irish. Do you have any Irish in you? Would you like some?
  • Hi. I'm an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
  • Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
  • [Put a pen and a $20 in your pocket. Approach the target and take out the twenty and the pen. Rip the $20 in half and write your number on one half. Give the target the other half, then say call me tonight so we can figure out how to spend that money, and walk away.]


One I've heard is funny..
  • Do you have a mirror in your pocket?
    (Why?)
    'Cause I could see myself in your pants.


Ooh baby...
  • I'm bigger and better than the Titanic..... only 200 women went down on the Titanic.
  • Ask: "Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?"
    (No.)
    [Wink.]
  • [Use index finger to call someone over then say:] I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand.
  • Male: Hey, I don't feel to good.
    Female: Why?
    Male: I feel like I have an elephant in my stomach.
    Female: What?
    Male: (looking down) I think his trunk is already sticking out.


...and finally, my favourite:

  • Can I please be your slave tonight?



mmm baby, any time...

Sp...a...errrrr..mm..?

I keep getting emails from iluvgettinlaid@hotmail.ca

They're telling me they've heard I like one night stands.

Could this be a sign?

Christened her Breasts


Scarlett Johansson, seen in the movie "Lost in Translation" tells of how she's named her breasts.

- I like my body and my face and I love my breasts - my girls, the actress says.

The only thing the celeb fears is getting old and having to use anti wrinkle cream.


- I don't want to look like an old paper bag, she tells British newspaper The Sun.


What's she's lacking in brains is luckily well compensated for in boobs.

Packed with Condoms

Thursday at the airport, when the police noticed a man who arrived from Amsterdam and acted suspiciously, they decided to ask him a few questions.

The man explained he was in Bergen to visit friends but could not name any of them. When they looked through his suitcase they made the strange discovery - it was packed full of condoms.

Police Inspector Visnes explained it's not illegal to bring condoms into the country, but they suspected he was involved with prostitution and some of the many foreign prostitutes in the city.

The man was unable to explain what he was doing here and who he was going to see. The police chose not to take the matters further, and instead expelled him from the country, something they were able to do because he arrrived without any means to support himself.

Friday afternoon both man and condoms were on the plane back to Amsterdam.

bt.no

Applications of Rational Choice and Demand Theories

Who says economics has to be realistic?

5. Jane spent all her income on hot dogs and caviar. Her demand curve for caviar was inelastic at all prices for caviar. Unfortunately, an accident at a nuclear power plant caused the supply of caviar to fall and the price to rise. What happened to Jane's consumption of hot dogs?

12. Crusoe will live this period and the next period as the lone inhabitant of his island. His only income is a crop of 100 coconuts that he harvests at the beginning of each period.


Although some of it does make sense:

Factors Accounting For Differences In Time Preference
Uncertainty regarding the future is one reason to prefer current to future consumption. In countries at war, for example, people often live as though there were no tomorrow, as indeed for many of them there will not be.

Microeconomics and Behavior, Robert H. Frank

Oh the leaves



"Leaves are dirty, that's why God put them in trees."

Reba
, American TV show



I usually don't understand much when it comes to God but this one really didn't make sense..

Thursday, May 11, 2006

International Online Romance Week
May 8th - 14th



It does work for some people.
For others... not so much.

Anybody wanna be my special someone this week?

Roast beef

I was looking for roast beef on dictionary.com.

The ad they'd chosen to put next to it had this image in it





I kinda like it. It looks like a rather evil pig but I found it hilarious. I know, my sense of humour is pretty simple at times...

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Fel..icité?

I'm supposed to be somewhere called Felice in an hour.

There is no club called Felice in this city.

However, there is one called Feliz.

Seems to be a high-class, high-priced kinda thing.


Now if only I had something to wear...

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Will, Grace & George Bush

JACK: You know, Will, since we're pairing off, what are we gonna do tomorrow night?

WILL: Well, I was gonna go to this art opening.

JACK: Ooh, that sounds great. I'd love to join you.

WILL: It's not a person named "Art," you understand?

JACK: [sighs and rolls eyes] Yes, I know. But there's always a lot of rich, old gay guys at those things looking for younger gay guys to take care of. You know, the way Dick Cheney takes care of George Bush.

Friday, May 05, 2006

We ain't dead yet.

Summer has come to Bergen, the rain has gone away and there are fires all over the west of the country. Two days of sunshine and 23 degrees was too much and forests, grass, valleys, trees - anything catches fire all of a sudden.

If you've been here before you probably know about my love of fire alarms. They're neat aren't they? Especially when they go off again and again and again...

Today it was around 6:30pm, we went downstairs and came right back up. I went out on the veranda to read in the sunshine, shutting the door to get away from the sound. Or at least that was my plan.

I saw the fire truck, coming over the bridge, flying across, about the speed of a bike with a flat tire. I could have walked faster. Apparently they've realized when the alarm goes off at the student appartments at Gyldenpris, there's no need to rush.

A few minutes and 500 yards later it pulled up downstairs - I've never seen a car go up the hill that slow. The fireman in the back was sitting, patting the side of the truck as they went past, obviously not too concerned about potentionally having to rescue a hundred students from certain death.

Now I'm just hoping someone had called them and told them not to worry. Otherwise I'd be concerned if a serious fire really did start one day - they'd take it less seriously than us.


I wonder if they get annoyed when a false alarm goes off like that. They have to get out in the car and go for a drive but do they see that as a welcome break from what they're busy doing at the station, or is it an annoying interruption?

Just sucks the way they always have to come here when it happens; a false alarm for us simply means moving down four floors, then listening to it for half an hour. For the firemen it means getting their gear, driving across town, then doing their best to reset the damn thing. Not the best way for us to show them how we appreciate the work they do.


The firetrucks are going faster tonight. There are constantly blue lights flashing across the bridge - firetrucks, police cars, ambulances. No false alarms when the woods are burning. The closest one is near an ammuntion depot, the army has been called in and evacuees are having to help - due to the wind we've been having all day the flames are spreading too fast.

I just hope they get to stop it before it reaches any houses.
And that we won't hear a big bang tonight.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Reason abandoned

Is it in our nature to take advantage of the weakest? Will we forever prey on the vulnerable and defenseless?

Will it always be survival of the fittest? The strongest survive, the unscrupulous win?

What is it within us that enables us to commit acts which hurt others, yet bring only momentary pleasure to ourselves?


One thing is punishing those who commit the crimes. Trying to deter others from doing the same.

Another is trying to eliminate that part of us which makes us able to do such things. That cannot be done. It still is survival of the fittest, only it is no longer survival. Take what you can, who you please.

What is it that enables us to completely disregard other people when making decisions that affect them? It is survival, it is the instincts we have and will probably always have. Will all of us, when put in the situation which triggers our inner beast, be able, and quite willing to perform acts we never thought ourselves able to? And not think it wrong, nor regret it afterwards?

It's not about physical survival anymore. We have what we need. But we crave more. So we take what we want. And the weakest still suffer.

Ascending

It is now officially 01.02.03 04.05.06


I can't believe it's been a year since last time.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Chocoholic

"I'm sitting here eating chocolate when
my heart can attack me any minute"


- as heard on tv somewhere

Jesse the Jerk

Do you have a girlfriend?
- be very very nice to her.

Do you have ex-girlfriends?
- be very very scared.


Ladies and gentlemen... meet Jesse the Jerk

Spring has come

The light has come back. Another long winter is over.
Spring is here.




I put a few more on appleshots.

German sues Easter Bunny

A German man has taken legal action against the Easter Bunny for grievous bodily harm.

Karl-Friedrich Lentze, from Berlin, has filed a complaint with prosecutors, accusing it of causing addiction to chocolate which leads to heart attacks, obesity and strokes.

Lentze said: "The Easter Bunny is a sadistic and unscrupulous offender who preys on people's sweet tooth.

"Find this evil bunny, handcuff his paws and remove him from shops in time for
Easter."

Public prosecutor spokesman Christian Avenarius said: "We will act upon the complaint with speed and diligence."

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Revamped

At least it's a start. I'll put more stuff on here when I have the time (and figure out how to).

I should also say that no, the drawing on top is not one of me, very sorry.

All kinds of Alarms

Yesterday one of my roommates knocked on my door. I opened. «Is there a fire in here?» he asked. I looked around, seeing no sign of a fire he stepped out of the doorway and I saw another guy. He'd come upstairs to the appartment to tell us the fire alarm control cabinet on the first floor said there was something wrong with one of our our fire alarm. Ema and I went downstairs with him and found it making a piercing (although not too loud) sound, a signal called «Pre- warning» glowing, and it said it was the alarm in the living room on the fifth floor, to the north that caused it.

Hoping it wouldn't cause the alarm to go off in the middle of the night, we called the security people telling them about it. The rest of the afternoon people kept coming up to tell us the thing was beeping downstairs, very nice of them but since we already knew, we left a note saying so. And hoped someone would come and stop it. We're not allowed to shut it off ourselves since we wouldn't know how to reset it and then it kinda sucks if a fire did start.


11:50pm

Dooooaaadooooaaadooooaaadooooaaa

I had got the sweater over my head, my pants off, ready to put on my pajamas. I looked up at the alarm, as I always do, hoping for a second it might stop. It didn't. Clothes back on, glasses off, contacts on, then downstairs. I found my three roommates on the first floor, next to the fire alarm control cabinet. Please don't tell me our thing caused this...

Dooooaaadooooaaadooooaaadooooaaa

I think pretty much everyone in the building had gone downstairs this time – when we first moved in the alarm went off on a weekly (sometimes daily) basis and people stopped taking it seriously. But now it's been almost two years, and a lot of the people who lived here back then have moved out, and those living here now seem to do what they're supposed to do.

Luckily it wasn't our alarm that dragged them out of bed or a lover's arms, it was a room on the first floor. The fire department only sent one car and 3 or so guys this time, they stopped the alarm and it was quiet for a minute. Then it started back up. One of my roommates told them about the «Pre-warning» that was still there, and we went back upstairs. I went to bed. Thought the alarm would stop.

Dooooaaadooooaaadooooaaadooooaaa

It didn't.

Back out of bed, firemen had been looking at our alarm too, they left and we all sat down. Waiting. The thing with this alarm system is the alarm will stop for a few seconds, it will be perfectly quiet. At least where we're sitting. Then it'll start again on the floor below us. Three dooooaaas later it starts in the hallway. Three more, it's in our rooms. Another three and it reaches the living room Then it stops. And starts over. It does this for anything between 5 and 55 minutes. Last night was a long one.

Quiet sounds good when it's over.
Nobody's dying in this building.