Pick up lines

There are good ones, there are bad ones and there are the horrible. I think we can all agree that the reason they sometimes work is that they are just what they are - cheesy little lines meant as a way to start a conversation.

But as with anything and everything in life, it is not necessarily what you say that is the most important thing - it's how you say it. Only about 5-10% of our first impression of a person consists of the words the person says, the other 90-95% is body language; how they stand, sit, look at you, and the tone of their voice.

Even so, it does matter what comes out of your mouth (and what might end up inside it a little later);


What was that?

• So, you're a girl huh?

• Do you have a boyfriend?
  [No]
  Want one?
  [Yes]
  Well, when you want a MANfriend, come and talk to me.

• I'd suck a fart out of your ass and hold it like a bong hit.

• If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?
  

• Guy: I bet you're a C-cup.
  Girl: How'd you know that?
  Guy: My testicles are the same size.
  

No, no, no!

• Hey baby you're so fine you make me stutter, wha-wha-what's your name?

• Roses are red, violets are blue, I have warts, so will you.

• Beww BEWWW Beww
  (What?)
  That is the sound of the ambulance coming to pick me up because when I saw you my heart stopped!

• Excuse me, but you have a beep on your nose.
  (What?)
  (Reach up and gently squeeze her nose) BEEP!
  

That's cute

• I can sense that you're a terrific lover, and it intimidates me a little.

• There's this movie I wanted to see and my mom said I couldn't go by myself.....

• I'm trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I'm allergic to sex.

• I'm Irish. Do you have any Irish in you? Would you like some?

• Hi. I'm an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus.

• Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?

• [Put a pen and a $20 in your pocket. Approach the target and take out the twenty and the pen. Rip the $20 in half and write your number on one half. Give the target the other half, then say call me tonight so we can figure out how to spend that money, and walk away.]

One I've heard is funny..

• Do you have a mirror in your pocket?
  (Why?)
  'Cause I could see myself in your pants.

Ooh baby...

• I'm bigger and better than the Titanic..... only 200 women went down on the Titanic.

• Ask: "Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?"
  (No.)
  [Wink.]

• [Use index finger to call someone over then say:] I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand.

• Male: Hey, I don't feel to good.
  Female: Why?
  Male: I feel like I have an elephant in my stomach.
  Female: What?
  Male: (looking down) I think his trunk is already sticking out.

...and finally, my favourite:

• Can I please be your slave tonight?

mmm baby, any time...