Thursday, October 12, 2006

Protect your Protection

Imagine you're in bed with a guy. After a while of rapid moving and breathing the guys moves back a little, reaches down to dispose of the condom and realizes... it's gone?!?

NOT an ideal situation, anyone who's experienced that will know a few thoughts rush through your head at that moment. Those who haven't tried it should pray they never will.

We started looking all around the bed, it was nowhere to be found. On top of the sheets, under the sheets, on the floor? Anywhere? Nope! Hmm... that can only mean one thing... it was left inside.

Not too strange, considering we did move around quite a bit. The guy got all white in the face and all I could do was lie down and have a feel around. Yup. It was there. Got it out and put it in the bin. The guy was even whiter now. Why wasn't I freaking out? you might wonder.

The reason is pretty simple. I've had sex using only condom as protection before. I've never had sex without one. I freak out if it looks like it's about to move, if my period's a day late, even if everything goes perfect I'm still worried. So a while ago, I started taking magic little pills. Now all I have to do is remember actually taking them.

That didn't help the guy much though, he looked like he'd stopped breathing. (yeah I know I'm kinda making fun of him here but it was all rather cute ;)

Now, you might wonder why, if I'm already on the pill, are we using condoms? I don't like condoms. Actually I kinda hate them. You have to stop, find one, get it open, get it on, make sure it doesn't slip off. And that's just what I do - for the guy it takes away some of the sensation, which, in turn, can be bad for me if it means having to be on top for 15 mins longer, ending up looking like I've just had a swim.

But as long as I'm not just sleeping with one person, I'll never ever do it without a condom. If you don't wrap up your candy, you'll never get it anywhere below my belly button. And even though I won't be sleeping with more than person (having lost my status as single and all), I still don't know if the guy has something nasty - or even if I do. Not that I think either of us do but you never know.

Basically, there are plenty of ways to protect yourself from pregnancy, but only one that helps against HIV, herpes, clamydia, syphilis and all that nasty stuff. That's the condom. And that's why it always needs to be there. But even condoms may break, burst, explode, dissolve or disappear inside you! It happens, and you need to prepare for that.

I'm simply not ready to have anything remotely human-like grow inside of me.
Are you?

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