Fire!

Me strong!
Me make wood for fire!

Sunset in Bergen

Memories

I've been looking around for a cassette I always listen to when we go on holiday up north. We're leaving Saturday and it's about time I find it - I've looked everywhere I can think of but it's nowhere to be found. Cassettes used to be kept in a closet which is now my sister's room. My sister refuses to look for it, saying "It's not there, I know it's not there. I just know." Naturally, she also refuses any request from my mother or I to see if we can find it. Then she runs into her room and locks the door.

I know she's not worried we find something we shouldn't find (like I would be if they wanted to go through my closet), she's got no problem with my mum puttin clothes in there or other things. She's really just being stubborn. I know it all too well cuz I used to be like that.

Anywho, looking through my room I've been finding some old scraps of paper with things I wrote down years and years ago, when I was a kid and too young to be embarrassed. Here's one of them:

So many things I cannot do
So many feelings I cannot feel
So many people I will not meet
So many stars I will not reach

Although the literary quality is..well.. *ahem* not that good, it is fun to find these things. The only reason I saved it was 1) I just put stuff wherever there was room and never throw away anything, and 2) I knew that "when I grow up it will be fun to look back on". I never actually 'saved' anything, as such, because I knew it all kinda sucked.

Except this one thing I wrote in a book I can't find anymore. I must have thought of it when I was around 14 and I really liked that one. I only remember the general feeling of it, and a couple lines going

I don't want to leave but I just can't stay
In a prison so far far awy
My feelings and thoughts must be free

I assume the reason I like it is it takes me back to that time and place, to the people I knew and the innocent pain you feel when you realize it's time to let go of someone you used to care for deeply. I wasn't sad then, it was just knowing I had to stop having feelings for someone because it would make it easier.

Telling myself how to feel used to be an advantage but now I've lost the ability to do so. I'm used to controlling my feelings, not the other way around. Letting go of someone used to be easy, now it's impossible.


That's not quite true... it is impossible, but it's not because I've changed. I'm more... peaceful, and letting things pass, go with the flow, is easier than back then. I'm tempted to think it's a person who did this to me. To think that it's not letting go in itself, but letting go of him which is impossible.

Which is ridiculous. I only met the guy once.

The night was never quite as still
As when you lay with me
Your breath was calming
Your touch was soft
Your sweet eyes looked at me
A little sting of pain I felt
When you explored the rest of me
But you took the pain away and left me
Happy and amazed by thee

Kink Factor

Explorer
66% kinkiness

More than anything else, you are curious about sex and sexual activity, and you do enjoy stretching your boundaries and those of your partner when you have the opportunity to do so. While some kinky things turn you on a whole lot, other things seem to be more out of bounds for you, though, at least for now.

OKCupid!

Anniversary

It has now officially been one year since I had sex.


It's tragic!


Not in the sense that "oooh everybody should have sex all the time!". You should know me better than that. I mean in the sense that I want to, I have wants, lusts, desires, I want to feel a body next to mine and a hard cock in my mouth. Sorry if honesty offends you but I never claimed this blog was family friendly.

Not entirely sure what to do about it though... I've thought of becoming a nun. Supposedly they don't have sex but I'm quite certain they have some wicked orgies in those convents of theirs...

Until then I'm still looking for volunteers to help me out of my involentary celibacy.

Swedish police...

...is looking for an older man who tried to rape a 4 year old girl.

The man exposed himself, then tried to rip the clothes off the girl. Something distracted him and he ran off. Police were looking for him with dog patrols and a helicopter.

The girl was in good shape and was not physically hurt.



What the hell is wrong with people?!?

Regarding the previous post...

...another way of looking at it would be that if I hadn't met those people, I wouldn't have been all happy for a while... The feeling when you're happy and go to bed hoping you'll dream of a person is incredible.

The more it hurts when that feeling is stopped, the happier you were before it did.

I guess another down is necessary for an up to come again.
And I do love the ups!

Mental note to self:

Guys suck.
When you think you meet a nice one, you're only kidding yourself.
Not only until I learn not to feel anything for anyone, should I have anything to do with guys.


I think I bring this on myself though, at least sometimes. I don't show my feelings, people assume I don't have any, and thus that I cannot be hurt. Which is, of course, complete bull shit. I have feelings, just like everybody else. They're there all the time and I'm a rather sensitive person although I hate to admit it. I care about people easily, really doesn't take long. That's why it hurts when I realize the other person doesn't mean half of what he says.



- Please note that if you confront me with anything I've written here I'll claim insanity. I don't have feelings and you can't hurt me. Period.

Stupidity

"If we let people see that kind of thing, there would never again be any war."

- Pentagon official, on why US military
censored graphic footage from the Gulf War

No Comment

Asian Occupation

Sunday around 100 Asian tourists decided to occupy the restaurant at Jølstraholmen, Norway. They set up their own kitchen and served food on their own paper plates.

The manager of the restaurant, Norodd Støfring, coculdn't believe his own eyes when the large group of what he though were guests, started making their own food inside the restaurant.They took up all the tables and set up their own mini kitchen. They served the food from plates they had brought.

It all started when an English speaking guide entered the restaurant, asking if they could eat there. Støfring naturally said yes, they were welcome to.

- I didn't know then it was two full busses of around 100 persons who would not be guests, but in fact bring and prepare their own food.

When the manager, realizing what they were up to, asked them to leave the restaurant, he met little understanding.

- They wouldn't understand what I was talking about. The tour guide who ten minutes earlier spoke very good English, no longer seemed to understand the language.

But the guests, who Støfring believes was either from India or Pakistan, eventually understood they weren't welcome. It all ended with them leaving, serving the food from tables outside the doors of the restaurant.

- I can't remember ever having experienced behaviour as rude as that! But you can't help but see the funny side of it, says Støfring.



Summer has come, so has the tourists.
It sure is a funny time of year...

News from the World Cup

The street sweepers of the German city Leipzig got a pleasant surprise Monday morning. When they were about to start their work, they discovered there was nothing to clean.



After celebrating South Koreas 1-1 against the French World Cup Winners from '98, the Koreans gathered up all plastic cups, plates, and everything else they had brought and put it all in the garbage bins placed around the city.

At 5am the cleaning personell came to work, but there was nothing to do - Leipzig was clean!

- It was fantastic. Our job was like a dream, said Ute Brückner, spokesperson for the cleaners in town. Thanks to the help from the Koreans, they could leave their jobs several hours early Monday.

It's raining.

I am sick and tired of this rain!

I want sun! I want summer!

I want to go outside wearing no underwear and not have the kids next door and the neighbours tell the whole town about it!

Grandfather's funeral

The funeral was today. We've buried my grandfather and it was all rather sad.

I always put on a brave face and try to be strong so others don't have to, I have yet to cry or even be sad because of my grandfather's passing. Now it's over, it's all over and people will be strong again.

That probably means I can finally let myself feel something, and let out some of what I've got bottled up inside since we put my grandfather in a box and lowered him into the ground.


So now if you'll excuse me I'll go curl up into a ball and cry my eyes out. When I let my guard down, there's no turning back.

Bus rides

Last year when I went home for summer I was 24 hours late for what could have been a terrible accident. A huge boulder landed on the road right after the bus had passed. If anyone had been under when it fell, they would have been instantly killed. The bus was minutes away from it, I was exactly 24 hours late.



Today, the day before I'm about to get on the bus home, that very same bus caught fire. It happened when the bus had stopped to board the ferry across the fjord, smoke was everywhere, the passengers were evacuated and the ferry crew had the fire put out in as little as six minutes.





The reason for this year's accident, as last year's, remains unknown.


- I'm not sure if this means someone is trying to kill me and constantly get the dates wrong, or if there's a guardian angel up there making sure bad things happen before I even have the chance to get there..

As seen on Bergen's buses.

I kinda love it because... is it just me or does "I'm a virgin, open your mouth" make you think of something quite different from fresh mints...?

Shopping and Stripping in the Sunshine

I went shopping today.

That's right, I went shopping. I don't do that a lot but when it's summer and hot outside, really "fry an egg on the pavement" hot, and when I actually find things I like, then I love shopping. The past two days have been like that.

Yesterday I found the most gorgeous bra ever. It was of some sort of lace like fabric, black pinkish brown (looks better than it sounds) and a little see through. It's absolutely perfect! Only thing was it was too small. I looked through all the H&M shops in the city but I didn't find it anywhere else.

I decided to try it on again and see if it would work anyway. I also picked out a bit more underwear (mostly black lace) and headed to the dressing rooms. The first one right inside the door was vacant so I went in and stripped down to my panties (the weather being as hot as it is, it didn't take much undressing).

I tried the 'perfect bra' first, and the thongs that went with it. I was just admiring it in the mirror when I heard a girl's voice and "maybe this one is vacant!".


Whoosh goes the curtain, I hear two girls' voices and a surprised "ohhh.... sorry!" then nervous giggling while they run off - neglecting to close the curtain. And there I am, in the perfect undewear, standing in the only place from which I am visible to the entire shop. Which is full of costumers.


Fan-bloody-tastic.


I closed the curtain and hoped not too many witnessed my involentary striptease. I tried on the rest of the underwear and not until now did I realize I didn't even get embarassed... I'll just put that down to the fact that I'm more than ready for someone to see me in my underwear, not to say nothing at all [yes, it's been a while]

I bought a little bit of this and a little bit of that, what it all had in common was that it was all clothes I really need. I even got two jackets, I don't have a jacket so I needed those. One is weird in the back and the other I can't close but they were cheap and worth the money.

Underwear. Check.
Other clothes. Check.
Bag. Check.


I then started the walk home in the sunshine, hot as hell, and loving it, two bags in each hand. An old man, your typical grandfather type, came towards me on the street and stopped straight in front of me. This was our conversation.

Man: Now you can't do anything.
Me: Huh?
Man: *gesturing towards my hands*
Man: You have bags in both your hands. I could do anything to you [in a friendly way, not creepy]
Man: I could even give you a hug if I wanted to. *strokes my cheek*
Me: *putting on the most innocent looking face you've ever seen and leaning away*
Man: *smiles and walks away*

...
Sometimes you meet the strangest people.
...

I'm so glad it's summer!

Did I mention it was HOT today?

The American Embassy

Today an area in the Norwegian capital Oslo was closed off after a suspicious package had arrived at the American Embassy. It was feared it may have contained a bomb or parts to make one.

The police moved out when it was discovered the package contained computer parts of various kinds which had been ordered by the Embassy itself.


Oh these Americans... :P

Grandfather

I was planning on writing how I'd walked back from one of my exams today, they have most of the exams a bit outside the city and it took about an hour and a half to get back here. I really have to start bringing my camera when I go out – the view was amazing from up there. I walked and walked until «wait a minute... I've been here before...» and realized I'd been walking in circles.

That's when my mum sent me a text message saying «Hey. Call home when your exam is over.» So many things were wrong with that message, knowing the way my mum writes and the fact that she was supposed to be at work at the time. I felt something was very wrong, as I have the two times I've had grandparents pass away.


My grandfather died this morning. He's been... gone... for a while, no one could really understand what he was saying and he couldn't walk or do anything by himself. He'd been getting worse lately and although we didn't expect it, it wasn't exactly a shock.

I can't... feel sad that he's gone. Not yet. I felt we'd lost him already. Now it's just thinking back and knowing we'll never see him again, that a long life is over. It's not that he won't be around, it's that he won't be alive, that he won't get to experience anything more.

I only saw him and my grandmother three times a year, when I went home for summer, Christmas and Easter. I guess now is the time to start regretting I didn't visit them more when I was there. I spent a lot of time with them when I was a kid.. that was a long time ago.

From what I'm told he got worse very fast after Easter, I don't know what was wrong, I don't know if anyone did, he was just... old, and didn't make much sense anymore. I wonder what it was like for him. What living and dying was like.


I was planning on staying in the city a couple weeks longer but now it looks like I'll be headed home in a few days.

I hope my grandpa's resting now...

We got married in Hell!

06.06.06

That's today's date.

666, often associated with the devil, satan and/or the antichrist should be an easy number to remember if you have a problem with dates.

Norwegian couple Hanna Røskaft and John Fryer decided to make something different out of the day and travelled to Hell, a small town near Trondheim. They got married at the train station, dressed up to fit both the occation and the date.


[Will find some pictures but someone seems to have cast a spell over them so I get nothing but black squares no matter what I do.]

Military Medic Test

Born To Be A Legend

You scored 90 Guts and 80 Brains!

Unfortunately you'll be dead. You're definitely brave enough to be a medic, but unless you can exercise a little more self-control you're gonna last about a week in the field before you start getting yourself and others killed. Nothing a bit of remedial training won't fix...

OKCupid!

The Where You Should've Been Born Test

Spain

10% Warlike, 55% Spartan Living, 81% Socialist

You are a Spaniard at heart. You like to kick back, relax, and pretty much be lazy. Although you probably wake up past 10 AM every day and go to bed past 2 AM, it is probably not out of the same necessity of escaping the heat. You try to stay out of conflict, don't care much about worldly possessions, and like to enjoy life.


This is so me!
I do like to be lazy, wake up at 10, stay out of conflict and enjoy life. Usually these tests can fit anyone, but they never fit this good.

Maybe it's time to move?

from OKCupid!

Waaaahhh!

My last exam is Wednesday, which means I am supposed to be studying. And I do try. From time to time. For those of you who have yet to experience the endless fascination of micro economics, I am here to tell you there is no such thing.

It might be fun if I had more time to study it but since I have 250 pages and 2 days to learn them (much of which will be wasted online), it is not so much fun.


Doesn't make it better that my family is in Sweden for the weekend and keep calling to tell me how much fun they're having.

Which only serves to remind me I might not be able to get out of the country at all this year. That hasn't happened for 10 years and I'm not too keen on it happening now.


Bloody Cobb-Douglas production functions...

Pregnant

I'm gonna have to have sex today or tomorrow if I want to get pregnant.


...which I really don't want to so I don't see the problem...



Find out when you can get pregnant
Norwegian English

To Rape or Not to Rape

A 38 year old Algerian refugee has in Stavanger, Norway, been jailed for two weeks, charged with the rape of a 13 year old girl.

The girl and a young boy stayed with the man in his appartment last Friday night. The charge is partially based on the young boy's statement.

Both the boy and the girl had told the man the girl was 18 year old, something he believed, and which the court has taken into concideration. It was the girl's legal guardians who reported the alleged rape.

The boy claims the girl was raped.
The girl says she had sex with the man, but it was not a rape.
The man claims nothing sexual happened.


-- not to take away from the importance of punishing those who commit crimes such as these (if this were, in fact a crime), but is there any wonder nothing gets done in a lot of cases when the parties involved can't even almost agree?

*anxiously awaiting the results of DNA and other tests*

Stuck on Mars

One of NASAs two rovers on Mars, Opportunity, is in trouble.

It's happened before, it'll happen again. This time, May 29th, it was located near the Victoria crater and was supposed to drive a stretch of 79 feet when the accident occured.

It got 5 feet before it dug itself too deep into the sand. NASA is now studying pictures the little chap took of itself and the situation it got itself into, trying to figure out what to do about it.


The whole thing just sounds rather cute...

Info on this situation.
Info on NASAs Mars Exploration Project.