Sunday, May 10, 2009

Final Goodbye?

You know how when you break up with someone it feels a little strange thinking about them dating someone new? Thinking about them going on with their lives, and you going on with yours without them in it?

I never really felt that way about my ex - I was just happy for him, doing well, being happy, healthy, having fun. Sure I thought that it might feel weird when he started seeing someone, but it never really felt too bad.

Until now. For once it feels... strange. In a bad way. I looked at the calendar and saw it's been exactly six months since we officially broke up. Maybe on some level I knew and started thinking about it?

It's not like I want to get back together with him. There was one big reason we broke up, and that hasn't changed. Maybe I'm just finally letting go, and this is the final goodbye?

4 comments:

  1. I know exactly how you feel. I think we have all felt that way many times in our lives. We start to ask ourselves those "what if" questions create all sorts of scenarios in our heads.

    One of my favorite quotes is from the movie "Cast Away" with Tom Hanks. If you haven’t seen it you definitely should :) Near the end of the movie Tom Hank’s character says, "And I now know what I have to do. I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?". That relationship didn't work out but you never know what the future has in store for either of you. Remember, "When we reach our star there will always be another just a little farther away..." and that one’s your quote :)

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  2. I guess... I never thought about getting back together with him, I don't want that. He's a great guy and although I don't love him as a boyfriend I'll always love him as a friend.

    That's good advice though, looking into the future rather than at the past. I taught myself years ago not to fantasize about what may have been, because that day has passed and today is a new one.

    As for stars... I think in a way I reach a new one every time I smell a flower or see a sunset. There's too much beauty out there to ignore it by waiting for tomorrow. I think I'm lucky that way :)

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  3. Hmm, I don't think i have those "i'll love him as a friend" thoughts about my ex. Then again, my ex was a scumbag. I think you are ready to move on and that's y you feel strange; you never thought you'd reach the point where you were over him.

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  4. Well, no, actually I thought I already was over him :)

    And I was. It just like... you know summer is over when school starts, and you're fine with that. You'd been looking forward to seeing all your friends again. But it's not until it starts raining for weeks on end that you realize summer is really over.

    Maybe that metaphor works best for Norwegians :P

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