Wednesday, November 24, 2004

One down...

I was kinda worried that the crush question was going to show up on the test today. I might just have had to go for A if it had appeared... I'm actually listening to Crush right now, maybe there's something to it?

The exam... well... The multiple choice was fun, 60 questions about anything and everything. Then I wrote a thing on social influences and another on perception. I wrote more than I thought I would on the first, and not very much on the second.

I learnt something about myself today. About myself and being nervous. I've noticed that I'm less nervous when presenting something in fromt of my seminar group or when having a guidance session with a teacher or something. In high school I always used to be really nervous about that (the talking in front of my class) but now it seems to have... worn off? I'm sure it will come back next time, but last time I talked about my paper in philosophy during the work group, showing the others what I'll be doing and stuff, - I wasn't nervous. I didn't think about it then.

But that wasn't what I learnt today.

Today I got up at six, six thirty. I had some cereal but I couldn't eat a thing. My head empty, I usually have too many thoughts up there. After breakfast I walked to the bus, it's about 25 mins there and I've spent ages finding out where the bus was leaving from. I would have had to take another bus to that bus if it had rained but luckily the sky was clear - and it was freezing outside! The bus came almost right away. When I was sitting there I realized that I was just sort of hearing others talk, about the exam, mostly, since there were many of us on that bus. I didn't have a single thought in my head. I didn't daydream, I didn't wonder, I didn't think. Not the slightest bit nervous, just completely calm. That lasted until... until I lined up to hand in my exam five hours later. When I first walked into the room where the exam was going to be, seeing an ocean of desks and chairs, I realized that this is... serious. In a good way. It's no more high school - this is university. It's said that no one makes it on their first try, meaning no one manages to get As on all three exams, which is needed to keep studying psychology.

I'm just wondering... do you stop being 'obviously nervous' as you get older? I know I was nervous in a way, but it was more a totally relaxed state of nervousness. Like my brain was just relaxing as much as it could before it was time to work. I much prefer it this way, I take things just as seriously but without worrying about it. I think and wonder and all that, but no more worries. In the words of Simba from the Lion King:

"Look, sometimes bad things happen, and there is nothing you can do about it, so why worry?"


Alright, psychology exam is over, it's out of the world, it's over and done with! For now.


I got the mp3 player today. Went to get it at the post office, it was wrapped in air in a big brown box, kinda hard to carry when wearing my light blue mittens, and at the same time doing my best to stay on my feet. I should have had my ice skates with me... Proabably wouldn't have gone any better but at least there's supposed to be ice under ice skates. There's not supposed to be slippery ice under your feet when you're walking up a hill.


For some reason this post doesn't feel right. It's weird. Awkward... I think I need to sleep...

Night night

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