Monday, February 04, 2008

The sad girl in the wheelchair

She lives in the building and has been here for a while. She always looks sad and never talks to anyone. At a party a while back a group of people were talking about who we'd seen before and who were new, and I went over to this girl and said "Hey, I know I've seen you here before." She scowled, didn't even look at me and replied "Yeah well I HAVE lived here for a year". She just seemed bitchy. Not at all what you'd expect from someone who had been sitting alone - I wanted to be nice and say hi, talk to her, but apparently she didn't like that.

Since then I've never talked to her again. I don't want to go over when she so clearly didn't want to talk, and I don't want to be met with a line, and an expression, like that again. At the party on Friday I was talking to some of the other girls and I asked them about her. Apparently she'd been exactly the same way with them so no one tries to get in touch with her anymore. She's rude - it's almost like she's mad we didn't talk to her earlier.

The girls thought she's bitter, which is pretty much the idea I've had. It seems like she's sad, not able to accept her situation and for some reason takes it out on people who want her to be a part of the group, the conversation - or just want her to have a good time. Maybe she thinks we're pitying her, or that people don't talk to her because she's in a wheelchair. Or maybe she was like this before aswell. She doesn't seem like she's always been in the wheelchair.

It doesn't feel good to know there's someone here who's not having a good time. She does come to parties and stays for a little while, but I've never seen her talk to anyone, spend time with anyone. I've never even seen her smile. And now, knowing that others have tried, and been met with the same reaction I was, I don't really know what to do about it.

Is she just a bitch who doesn't think we're good enough to talk to her? Does she think we're leaving her out and that we think we're better than her? It can't be a coincidence that we've all been met with the same attitude. Maybe she's not used to talking to new people and doesn't know how to react. Or maybe she is bitter and scared and uses this as a way to distance herself from others. She chooses to be among us, to come to parties, but she doesn't want, or isn't able, to talk to us.

I just don't know what to do about it, if anything at all. I don't want to be the kind of person who doesn't care and just walks past. But I really don't want to try and talk to someone who doesn't want to talk to me. I'm no good at small talk, and the thought of trying that again with that girl, is not a thought I like...

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