I'm very self absorbed. I'm a slut too. And a "female horndog".At least according to the random stranger who read my blog and found it provoking enough to track me down and tell me exactly how he feels about me.
You see, I'm ruining my life here. Not only am I having sex "just for the hell of it". Instead of being ashamed, as anyone should be, I actually admit to that fact online. In a blog. Which apparently everyone I know reads; my family, my friends - even my future employer who would never consider hiring someone like me. Why?
Because "a reasonably cultured intelligent person would not admit to having sex with a person they did not imagine themselves having a long term relationship with". At least so says the stranger (who ironically enough called himself "ReallyNiceGuy"). Before he ended by saying that I (the slut) probably never have sex anyway since I'm too self absorbed.
First of all... wow!
Second, this guy did have some points. Don't get me wrong - I'm not saying I agree with him about any of this, but there are some things worth noting.
- I think everyone who has a blog has to be a little self absorbed.
I think everyone who talks on chat or discussion boards must be a little self absorbed. I think everyone who has Facebook, Myspace or Twitter must be a little self absorbed. I think the guy who always talks the loudest at the party must be self absorbed. We decide to share something with the world, to present our own perspective on it. I have no problem admitting that I too can be self absorbed, no problem at all.
- Being a slut and sex "for the hell of it".
I wouldn't say I'm a slut. In fact I would say I'm very far from being a slut (whatever your chosen definition of that term), but I understand that my blog may give another impression. A blog is words, not actions. These are thoughts, not a blow-by-blow (no pun intended) detailed account of my sex life. Anyone who thought otherwise should read again - there probably aren't quite as many details as you might think.
- Friends, family and future employers.
There are a few people I know who read this blog. Naturally there could be more, and the information is out there - it IS possible to find out who I am. It's not even that hard. Am I worried? No. This is just another random blog on the internet - why would anyone care? But I do think it's a good idea for anyone to be a little cautious about what they publish.. we never know what will happen in the future; where we will be and who we will know. For me, the line between apples and Anne is getting blurry, perhaps more so than it should.
That random stranger had some [in my mind] messed up explanations and arguments that I won't get into here, but one thing stands out, a thing I've been called names and criticized for in the past;
I've asked this question before... do I write too much about sex?
I found your blog at Link Referral. I wrote about open marriages Thursday so I can understand your thoughts. I haven't seen all your posts.
ReplyDeleteHowever, you should feel comfortable. Don't worry about what strangers say. Yeah, that includes me. You know what feels right to you. Follow that path. Good luck to you. I have added you as a favorite at LR so I'll visit again.
Do you write too much about sex?
ReplyDeleteNo.
Nobody should have to hide, or filter who they are, or what they enjoy.
I enjoy pizza. If someone told me I was a cultural degenerate because of my love of pizza, I'd be pretty offended.
Some would say sex is different. I don't think it is. It's probably different because people make it different. It's taboo, or uncouth, or whatever, and anyone (especially, God forbid, a woman) who enjoys it outside of this tightly controlled system must be a slobbering heathen.
Wow, sometimes I wish people keep their opinions about other people to themselves. You are only blogging about what you want to blog about and if dude doesn't like it he shouldn't be reading it. I can't stand snotty people who pass judgement and don't know the person at all.
ReplyDeleteTiffany
Peace, Love and Chocolate
http://liferequiresmorechocolate.blogspot.com
A pox on his house. Write about whatever you feel like. If you want to write about sex, write about sex. If you want to write about what you like on your pizza... Well, you get the point.
ReplyDelete@ Tyson - Thanks for the support. I don't worry much about the strangers, I just find them interesting :P
ReplyDelete@ Geoff - A slobbering heathen.. I can add that to my list!
@ Wilmaryad - Thanks sweets, I aim to please ;)
@ Redbonegirl97 - People who pass judgement and contradict themselves while doing so are even worse!
@ R. J. Vincent - A pox on his house... that's a funny expression.. never heard it before, what does it mean exactly?
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I just wanted your points of view on the matter, and to find out what you guys think. I guess it's like Geoff's pizza - if I like it I should write about it.. but if you like something it can take over a little too much if you let it, and that's hard to see from the inside.
Basically I'm not planning to change anything, and I am very aware some people think all sorts of things about what I write. I guess I do have a tendency to say too much, then stop abruptly and censor myself a little. Sex is tricky though.. be honest, be modest or be a moralist?
Maybe honest can be too honest at times, but seriously.. I couldn't change if I wanted to :)
You write whatever you feel like writing, babe, and in minute details as you wish to. This is your blog and those who don't like its content can just move on to a dull one.
ReplyDeleteThat said, I have learned my lesson the hard way. I lost a guy I was really interested in because of a sarcastic comment I had posted as a reply to his own. So, I don't show my blog to a guy I am romantically interested in.
With my current romanticoma, however, I don't risk having romantic intentions towards nobody. So, people can read my blog away! :p
Oh I hear ya, Wilmaryad. I've had guys read my blog and wonder what the hell I'm up to. My ex used to read it, but when we'd dated for a couple months I had to ask him to stop.. I censored myself constantly. He respected my request though.. I really respect him for being able to do so, I wouldn't have :P
ReplyDeleteRomantically interested.. well.. I still can't be completely honest about everything because I know some who read it, who I kinda like, and I know they'll see it. Some I've told, some have found their own way here.. I think most guys I'd be interested in would be smart enough to find my blog if I gave them my msn... unfortunately!
I'm trying to balance somewhere between honesty and censorship. But the good thing about having guys read your blog is you can discreetly tell them things you don't have the guts to say in real life.. As for this - hey, no one reads the comments anyway! ;)