I had two separate conversations with two guys in their 20's today. I didn't have the chance to ask the first one if I could put this on here (I always ask) so it could be he's pretty pissed off right about now.
Both conversations were about love. The first guy had given up on it. The second was looking for his soul mate.
Conversation 1: The guy gave up on love after having his heart broken. He then wanted to sleep with a girl and was planning on saying "sorry" and walk away afterwards. Things got in the way and he didn't sleep with her.
Conversation 2: This guy is looking for his soul mate. He just wants a girl who is nice and has 'nice manners'. And she has to be beautiful. As the conversation progressed I found out the term nice meant she was honest, understanding and beautiful. After a while it was clear that the guy mostly wanted a beautiful girl who was nice (ie. beautiful). He also wanted smart and beautiful kids, and he couldn't have kids with an unattractive woman; then how were the kids supposed to be beautiful?
He admitted all people love their kids even if they aren't beautiful. But yes, if they were nicer he might perhaps "like them more".What if one was beautiful and one was less so (however uncomfortable I feel labeling kids that way), would he love one more than the other? Well, that he preferred not to answer.
Also, if the woman wasn't so nice, she would get jealous when he wasn't there, and she might dump him. He didn't want his kids to have a 'dumper mom'.
Conclusion?
Both guys seemed nice. The first one... he was planning on, perhaps, breaking a girl's heart, sleeping with her knowing he was going to say bye right after. Guys do that all the time, don't they? What shocked me was how he'd just gone through a painful experience and now he was planning on knowingly causing that same pain he's experiencing.
My problem with the whole thing was not 'sleeping with a girl and leaving'. It wasn't the 'causing pain'. Although both horrible things to do, it was the not wanting this to happen to yourself, but still having no problem (or perhaps not seeing the problem in) doing the same thing to someone else.
As for the second guy... He was just very honest about something everyone thinks. I've always said can you can fall for someone you don't find immediately attractive, it's just harder. Not that you have to work on having feelings for someone non-super-model looking, just that you usually start talking to someone you find attractive. I'm sure we all realize, I hope, that it's more than what a person looks like that counts (for most of us anyway).
Sometimes you just gotta be... beautiful on the inside. But how do you show someone you're beautiful on the inside if they don't want to talk to you? Maybe we should all just go around talking to everyone. I'd like that. I never talk to anyone. I'm an oyster.
More conclusion: Do to others what you want other so do to you. And DO NOT do to others what you DO NOT want others to do to you. What goes around, comes around.
Whether it's on the inside or the outside, beauty conquers all. Right? I don't know, but I for one hope it's a little more complicated than that. We're all complicated. We're all messed up in our own little ways.
I'm gonna stop with the 'beautiful' thing now, I hate even talking about it - I feel like I'm offending anyone and everyone just writing these words. Everybody's beautiful in their own way. Nothing's gonna change that. Not even stupid (read: ignorant) people.
Sometimes chatting with me is more like an interrogation than a pleasant conversation. I'm sure some of you know that. I tend to dig and ask and demand you explain yourself until you're about read to tell me to take a hike. I don't think the guys I talked would read this. I'll tell them about it and give them a chance to comment. Hope they don't mind.
be honest annie oakley, you do not always ask if you can use peoples thoughts, love you , big ted
ReplyDelete"Guys do that all the time, don't they?"
ReplyDeleteNo.
Not all guys.
Also, physical beauty is only skin deep. It can be changed by chance or choice, and it's not a true reflection of the person on the inside. Looks don't matter that much at all. I'd rather talk to someone who looked human, instead of someone who looks like plastic.
As for love. Well, love is blind and blinding.
As an note as well, I've added you to my MSN list. Feel free to interrogate me anytime.
teddy bear: actually I do. When I take something out of a conversation and refer to the person I was talking to, I do ask.
ReplyDeleteIf, however, someone said something general, as in not about themselves or anything that can be traced back to them, something which made me think more, I do not ask if I do not see the need. Basically I ask if I feel I should, and most of the time the reply sounds like: "sure! you don't need to ask that".
However, I may not have asked people these questions when I first started this blog almost a year ago, and if you, or anyone else, feels I've written something you told me and didn't want the world to know about, please let me know.
BUT: if someone has a problem with something I've written that has absolutely nothing to do with them or something they told me in private, I will not do anything about it. If you don't like what you read feel free to go somewhere else. I'm not about to start censoring myself now.
Raine: You really don't know what you're getting yourself into :)
That's part of the reason I'm offering. ;)
ReplyDeleteI just wish there wasn't such a time-zone difference.
Nah.. I don't do time zones anyway
ReplyDeleteWhen I met The Man I thought he looked weird. "What a weird guy," I thought, but he was the only person in the room who spoke English so I ended up speaking to him. He translated for me. He didn't just look weird, either. I thought he was strange and way too intense for me. I also thought he had no sense of humour. (Boy, THAT caused some surprises. It's amazing what language difficulties will hide.)
ReplyDeleteA bit later, one night I woke up yelling, "I'M IN LOVE!" I know because I was sharing a room at the time and my friend told me.
"Who are you in love with?" she asked, and he instantly popped into my head. That was annoying.
"NOBODY!" I shouted. Then I thought about it.
"NO WAY! I'M NOT IN LOVE WITH HIM. HE'S WEIRD!"
The rest is history. Going on for seventeen years of it, now.
(He's getting better-looking, though. He improves with age.)
I don't quite know what the point of this is, except that it is possible to fall in love (with someone you think is weird-looking) without noticing it.