The past two years I've only been home for Easter, summer and Christmas, but then always for a few weeks at a time. At first it's always nice to be home, everybody's nice to each other and it just feels relaxing.
Then after two-three weeks, it happens. Looking at the calendar, I see I've been home two and a half weeks now. I felt it coming a few days ago. I get annoyed. The little things that are just nice when I get here, are starting to get annoying. It's no longer cute that my sister wants to be in my room all the time. It's stopped being just strange when my mum wants me to see if anything she cooks is ready (how does she manage when I'm not here??). My parents not being able to make up their minds about anything is no longer funny like when I'm in Bergen and their decisions don't affect me, but when I'm here, it's just annoying.
We were supposed to go up north to the island where my mum is from. My parents have been going through all the stages between 'Yes' and 'No' for the past few months, including "not a good idea", "we'll see", "no", "maybe", "if you want", "you decide", "we'll ask your mother/father", "I don't think your mother/father wants to", "we could go", "yes", "we'll see", "no plans", "no", "yes", "probably not", "don't know yet", and most recently, when a friend of theirs asked; "no" and when I asked; "don't know, don't think so".
Make up your minds!!
I suck at making up my mind, but at least I keep it to myself until I've done it. I say "I don't know" until I do know, and when I've made a decision, I rarely change it. If I say 'yes', I don't change it to 'no'. Especially not when I know someone gets disappointed every time I change my mind. I know my parents are the ones who have to drive and pay and talk to all our relatives when us kids run off with our cousins. And that's fine, we haven't been there for two years, if they don't want to go we'll be disappointed but it'll be ok. Just tell us! I've told them this too, asked them to please just say yes or no so we'll know, but it doesn't do any good.
All the little things that are cute when I'm away, have stopped being cute and are now annoying. I've been home long enough for them to stop seeing me as living in Bergen, I am once again living here, I'm the oldest kid again, not that I ever stopped being that, but I'm a kid again. Their rules. Which bugs me. And which usually leads to me asking questions. Like if my parents say something, they think this or that, I ask "why" instead of just smiling politely. I always ask why but I know they prefer to just make a statement and don't explain why, so I don't ask when I first come home. Just being the good girl.
But after a while I start wanting reasons why people say things, which usually starts a discussion. My mum doesn't want to discuss and my dad yells at me for discussing with my mum. And it's not even arguing, that's the funny part. When my mum doesn't have anything to say, she sighs and looks like she's about to cry. My dad thinks I've said something rude, he doesn't know cuz he wasn't there, and so I'm the bad one again. Misunderstandings. It's always been like this. And I never get a chance to explain it either. It sucks.
So I gotta get out of here. For a day or two. If I had somewhere to go, I'd go. I just need a break, I know they're not gonna do anything differently so I just need to breathe a little. I feel like a pot of water on the stove. When I came home, someone put a lid over it which shouldn't be there. The water's boiling, pushing the lid, jumping up and down. I just need to let out some steam!
Grab your camera, pack a lunch or three, and hit the road. Take lots of pictures. Write stories about what you saw. Most importantly, get out and about while summer's still here, rather than ending up brooding at home until the short season is over. If family is chronically annoying, only hang around when you can tolerate it. There is no use putting yourself under friction when you can be out and enjoying yourself.
ReplyDeleteOh I do. I don't drive though but I've always got my bike. And legs. As soon as I posted that yesterday I got on my bike and got out for a while. Good thing too, when I got back my mum was furious. How do I know? She said "I'm furious".
ReplyDeleteApparently my sister had been out too long when she went swimming with a friend. And she'd also not taken down the volley ball net thing in the garden when my mum put clothes up do dry. My mum didn't tell her to, but that wasn't the issue. That's all fine, what I don't get is why my mum has to tell me all this. And not just once either. If anyone else was there, they'd think it was me she was mad at.
When my dad came home it breaks loose again cuz then she's gonna complain to him. It was dinner time but I just said I'm going out for a few mins so I sat down on the stairs reading my book. When I got back in, everyone was quiet. No one said a word during dinner.
Maybe people just don't argue in Bergen. I hate it when people argue!
And I know I'm complaining but if I don't get it out, I'm gonna have a lousy time the last few weeks, like I always have, and I wanna change that.
Sounds a lot like my mother. When she's annoyed, you won't hear the end of it for weeks. Fortunately, we have a defense.
ReplyDeleteCommonly, it's called smiling and nodding.
I hate arguments too, often nobody wants to budge from their point of view, or sometimes they don't even have a point of view and just want to start yelling. Gah, my face turns red just thinking about it.
Everyone just needs to chill out. It's summertime. Sip a lemonade. Relax for a time.