Thoughts and dreams

Last night I dreamt I was on a bed and suddenly saw someone I've slept with have sex with someone else. The girl was on top, then he turned her around and got on top. That's when I saw it was him.. for two seconds before it wasn't him anyway. That felt indescribably... weird. Especially since I knew the girl too.

I've never been the kind of person who can sleep with someone without feeling anything. It happens whether I want it to or not, and I've always wondered what it would be like to just... not care. When sex is just sex, and forgotten the next day. It must be so easy. Convenient. Not to feel. I'm just not like that.

I don't mean that I need to be in love to sleep with someone, nor that I fall in love afterwards. Still, it's.. different. I care more, whether it's platonic or something else. Which is why it does feel weird to sleep with someone then basically never talk to them again. I hate to leave things hanging, not to get an end to things. Not to know what happened, if anything at all.

I'm more committed to my words than to my feelings. That's not always a good thing.

The Dentist

I mentioned a story about big body parts, a small mouth, and going "aaah". I realize what that sounds like, but it's nothing like that at all - I simply went to see the dentist.

I always hated going to the dentist when I was a kid. We used to see this old guy with huge hands. He never wore gloves. I hated it partly because I didn't want to have any cavities and know I hadn't been good enough at brushing my teeth, partly because my jaws just didn't open that big without being forced. It hurt. A lot.

The old dentist retired years ago and the ones I've seen since have all been nice. Still; a trip to the dentist is never pleasant. And for the first time in years I felt that horrible pain in my jaw that comes from keeping my mouth open for too long at a time.

It felt slightly wrong sitting in the dentist's chair thinking of blow jobs - the pain in the jaw was exactly the same as it used to way back when...

Do you have any idea how long it takes to fold 155 pairs of underwear?

Me neither.

I only folded the hipsters and the panties, which leaves the thongs and the strings.

I am not folding all of those.

Again, for the eighty-seventh time (at least); I have too much underwear!

But how on earth do I stop buying them when they make them as cute as they do?

It's really not my fault at all...

(except for.. you know.. the not-so-secret fact that I love lingerie... and that I already had a label called that...)

Am sick

I've had a head full of concrete (usually when I'm sick it's cotton, but this is definitely concrete) for a week now, I'm told I sound like a dog when I cough, half the time I can't even understand my own raspy voice when I'm talking, and I don't have a clue what the hell is wrong with my throat..

At least I'm not all snotty with a runny nose and losing my sense of taste and smell - that's what I hate the most about being sick. It seems like a strange kind of cold without all those icky bits.

I have a story about big body parts, a small mouth, opening wide and going 'aaah', but that will have to wait for another day. It really wouldn't sound too exciting in the context of snotty and icky...

Edit:
Next morning: don't ever speak too highly of what you have; you never know when you'll wake up and have lost it completely..

Too many thoughts

I have too many thoughts in my head to be able to put even a single one of them down in writing. They're about anything and anyone, and a few probably wouldn't be appropriate to put on here. You never know who might read it, and for some reason I've stopped typing out every random thought in my head.

I'll try and figure out something worthwhile to say, and in the mean time I'll leave you with this; a series of photos from Kappadokia, Turkey. Google has been kind enough to translate the accompanying article for us (I recommend reading it if you like the photos) but I think the pictures mostly speak for themselves, don't you?

Last night I cut off my testicles

In a dream, of course.

Which is kinda weird since I'm a girl and therefore don't have any...

I think, in my dream, I knew a guy who'd done it, and I thought that there was no reason to keep mine; they didn't do anything and they were just in the way anyway. There were no other guy-parts, but apparently it was normal for girls to have balls down there somewhere. I'm not entirely sure where they were attached though...

I remember thinking guys might find it weird, me not having any, and the argument against plastic surgery jumped into my head; why fix something that isn't broken, you never know what complications will arise.

But I did it anyway, I sat down and cut them off with a pair of scissors. Unlike guy's testicles they were two separate things, hanging by two different bits of skin about 5mm in diameter. When I cut them off, and it didn't hurt, there was some sort of tube inside.. it looked like hollowed out spaghetti (definitely inspired by the fried squid rings I made a week ago which looked exactly the same inside).

Then I think I woke up, because I don't remember why I was doing it or what happened afterwards. I didn't even remember the dream until 12 hours later.

Gross, you say?
Kinda, I suppose.

I've never liked football or volleyball, but there are some ball games I do like... as long as the balls belong to the right guy. But being a proud owner myself? I think I'll pass.

*I have a feeling next time I see a pair I'll investigate them thoroughly to see exactly what they look like, where they're attached and how one might.. remove them. That was a weird dream...*

New Experiences

The past couple months I've been a substitute teacher (or been "playing teacher" as I call it) a few days a week at the local school. I've done everything from Norwegian and Maths to cooking and PE and I'm more convinced than ever that I'll never want to a teacher. Not that I ever thought I would.

It's not that I don't like it - some days are great; nice kids, having fun. Other days... well, take yesterday; four hours with seven years old yelling, followed by two hours in the computer room with ten year olds (fun actually), then one hour with a bunch of eight year olds; one of which would not surprise me if he told me he was raised by a bunch of monkeys. Or teenage boys. Can one get sexually harassed by an eight year old?

I'd never have the patience for that kind of job.

But all in all - I like it. It's something new, I love being stressed and sure get enough of that when I'm there; I never know what I'm gonna be doing until five minutes before I have to do it... if I'm lucky. I've wanted to do something like this for a while; observing the educational system from behind the scenes in a country first hand, especially a country as bound to its ideals of streamlining everything as this one, is fascinating. And I'm bound to come out of it with new experiences - perhaps I'll even learn something!

One thing I do find especially amusing is life in the teacher's lounge. Seeing what the teachers really do in there, I think all kids wonder about that. Lunch conversations are interesting and the people are nice. It's especially interesting talking to others my age, often coming in from the outside, giving their perspectives on things and the town. Conversation turns to people you know and before you know it you have learned quite a few new things about them.

It's fascinating to see someone you halfway know through another person's eyes. It can be different from your own ideas, different from the impressions acquaintances give off. Or exactly the same, only you weren't looking. Little bits of new information, constantly acquired, to make the picture more whole, fill in the blanks, making you see things a little more clearly. Or perhaps it just gets more confusing.

People do always tend to talk more about people's bad qualities than about the good ones. Perhaps there's a reason for that.

Autumn break

The parents suddenly decided to take off in the morning so it looks like I'll have the house to myself for a few days.

I only wish the weather could have stayed as beautiful as it's been the past week, but it seems real autumn weather is on its way. If the reports are right, we could be getting just under two inches of rain tomorrow.

I have a feeling I'll be spending the next few days cooped up inside...

The Flintstones are 50!

The prettiest Google logo ever?

The Flintstones was first aired on September 30th 1960, fifty years ago, and has to be one of the most well known cartoons out there. Apart from Donald (of course) this has always been one of my favourites. And there's just something special about theme songs from your childhood...

Browser with a sense of humour

I tried opening Firefox when it presented an error message:
"Well, this is awkward."

It had tried to open the tabs from a previous session and obviously thought it was rather embarassing when it wasn't able to do so.

- Anyone think IE would phrase it quite like that? :)