Thursday, March 01, 2007

Like vs. Love

There should be a word between 'like' and 'love'.

I've met a lot of guys I've 'liked', but only a couple that I've 'loved'.

So how do you classify the guys in between? Like my boyfriend... I clearly like him. But I don't love him. Which is fine, he doesn't love me either. We like each other, like spending time together and we care about each other. But it's not love. So where do I put him?

I don't want to say I just like him because, well, I like most people. How do you label the people who fall in between categories, people you care deeply about but do not love?

Maybe it's easier in English, there you can love family members and friends, but in Norwegian you don't do that. You only 'love' one person. 'Liking' applies to everything, from your friends to your grumpy (but oddly charming) neighbour.


And while we're on the subject... is 'love' and 'in love' the same thing?
I say no, but an American I once knew said they were.
It confused me. What do you think?

15 comments:

  1. I think the in-between word you are looking for would be "fondness."

    Kind of archaic. But you can be fond of someone without being in love with them.

    Yes. There is a difference between love and in love.

    And it also just struck me. If you put the words like and love together, you get live.

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  2. I like that one better.

    Hehe. So, now is it possible to loke someone now?

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  3. fortunately you dont know me, you'd ask what's above "in love"

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  4. From Wikipedia

    Loke,
    A slang word to describe a feeling stronger than like, but not as strong as love.

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  5. Turkishman8:19 PM

    well apples u are smart enough to know what's the diffrence between love someone and being in love with someone. As u have a better english than most others i expected that to love someone is not mutual ,it means u love the person but she/he doesn't show you the same feelings, but the case is being in love then the emotions are mutual , both sides love eachother.... Ehh well so simple u see . I like you because u step on nice subjects, but i didn't feel some special emotions towards you yet now for somehow... Because i sometimes think you re a man!!! Mostly a spanish man who doesn't have a darling :))

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  6. Turkish: Love vs. In love has nothing to do with whether the feelings are mutual. I'm thinking in love is infatuation, which seems to be what most people think.

    Understanding what means what has nothing to do with your intelligence. Different people have different understandings of things. When it comes to emotions, they're hard to define and impossible to compare - which means you can be the smartest person on earth and still have no clue how someone feels about you.


    As for me being a man - I'm not - sorry to disappoint you.

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  7. turkish3:50 PM

    Are u sure in that? i mean when i say "i am in love with her" this doesn't mean she loves me too and on the other hand if i say "i love her" but maybe then she doesn't love me ? My logical connection is "i am in love with.." with is a preposition which is used in mutual events , such as "we went to fishing with my cousin" "come with me" "i ate meatballs with potatoe" ehh so am i right?

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  8. No, you are not right.

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  9. iinsitonthat9:38 PM

    ehh well you are not a native speaker of english. Oki i know your english is very good but i still have doubts in love and love stuff. I ll ask a native speaker of english then.

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  10. iaskedanative12:47 AM

    Well as i mentioned earlier, i decided to ask the dilemma to a native speaker. And i did with the persuasive efforts of yours for me asking the question to a native speaker. The person i asked is a native speaker of english and after i asked the question she became very confused and asked me for time to think about and the day after she agreed that "in love with" is a mutual feeling :D you owe me a kiss that i found the answer for u with my great efforts :)

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  11. You should be more careful in selecting your natives as this one has given you bad advice.

    I find it worrisome that you claim to know a native speaker of English who becomes confused when asked about the term in love with and needs time to think about it.


    So let's try and get the facts straight:

    The word with does not mean together with in this sense. Being in love with is not something you are doing together with another person.

    I quote thefreedictionary.com, where in love is illustrated this way:

    "Highly or immoderately fond: in love with Japanese painting; in love with the sound of her own voice."

    Surely you and your friend is not suggesting the Japanese painting is in love too?


    At philosophos.com I find this:

    "The dilemma arises, therefore, when the person of our love does not reciprocate our love. If the person I am in love with rejects my advances of love and does not reciprocate my love."

    This doesn't sound like two people in love with each other.


    Amazon.com even sells a book called How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You. How can that be necessary if the definition of "in love with" is that both people are in love? You're saying you don't need someone to fall in love with you, because they already are.

    If they are not, what you're saying is that all you need to do for someone to fall in love with you, is for you to fall in love with them?


    Just google it. There are thousands of people looking for advice - they are in love with someone and the feelings are not mutual.


    Please get your native to comment on this. I'd love to hear what she has to say.

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  12. gaveup10:22 PM

    Oki apples you are right. It is like what you just explain.

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