It's been a while.
It's summer
(or so they say). It's been raining all of July. But June was nice. The rain started when I got a job so I can't do anything but assume it'll stop when my summer job ends.
I'm selling pillows, duvets, carpets and other related items. I've suddenly realized there are so many things I should, but don't, have - such as a new pillow
(a little harder than the old one), new bed sheets
(haven't got around to putting them on), a lot of pillows for the common room
(they're still in their bags) and... well, you get the picture.
Boy does that 30% discount come in handy...I haven't been home yet, hoping to squeeze a week in after Uni has started and my job ended. I'm told my brother has got a job this summer as well
(need to get him onto my other MSN account, I never talk to him anymore).. hope to see him before summer ends. We both live in Bergen but never meet. Kinda miss talking to him.
Now.. The Guy bought an apartment and I'm helping
(a teeeeny bit) with the... well.... fixing it. It was broken. In the way apartments can be broken. His parents were here for a couple weeks and did most of it. Yesterday he and I put together most of the kitchen cabinets and drawers
(an endless amount of drawers). Even got to open up the fridge and look inside
(those puppy dog eyes of mine are quite useful at times). I think he got quite annoyed with me by the end though.
And I've stepped on a snail. The brown ones are everywhere, not just when it's raining. It's crazy. Last night I was walking home some time after midnight. I thought
"Wow, it's really dark these day... even with no clouds." Then, of course, I started looking up at the sky to see if there really were no clouds
(there weren't, I'm pretty sure) and I felt this... strange sensation. Almost as if I stepped on an egg
(not that I've ever stepped on an egg).
Not knowing what it could be, I took another step and tried to 'brush' it off, then I saw the remains of a snail on the ground. Naturally, I knelt down and whispered
'I'm so sorry' (no I wasn't drunk!), then my next thought was
"ewww I got snail remains under my shoe!", then spending the rest of the walk home trying to get it off.
- For one thing, I now know I've never stepped on a snail before... not this summer anyway.- My
TV is dead. Or rather, in a coma. It just stopped working one day, The Guy and I borrowed his parents car and brought it to the shop, they fixed it
(or so they say) and now I need to find a way to get back there and get it. It's a little far from the bus stop
(too far to carry a big tv - The Guy said he didn't understand why I didn't have a flat screen, at least they are 'carryable'). I need a car.
Pronto!On a more serious note, today I watched the last episode of
The Bachelor - Rome. How can a reality show be serious, right? I know, but with a couple glasses of wine inside and a nice bachelor for once
(I've only watched half of one season before and he turned out to be a jerk), and two really nice girls, I got kinda sad for the one who lost - even if I knew he'd pick the other one.
What's serious is that completely without noticing it I've gotten to the point where I'm over the guy from two years ago. I know, two years,
waaaay time to be over him. But since he wasn't
'real' and just disappeared into thin air, he was more like a dream than real life. I'll never stop trying to find out what happened to him but I know he's not... I know I'll never again say
"but I love him...." (I know, silly, I never knew him).
I'm over him. It's been two years. I guess I needed it, it'll make me stronger. It's a relief to know I've let go.
Which brings me to The Guy. We've been going out for almost a year. I care for him deeply, I can't imagine what my everyday life would be without him. I'd be alone and lonely again. But I'm not in love with him. No butterflies. He knows, I'm not trying to trick him into anything. But since he's a little older than me there's always the
"he's probably at the age where he wants to settle down where I still have a few years"-dilemma.
If I were going out with someone who didn't love me and I loved them, then they say they care about me but it might be best we just be friends... I wouldn't want to see them dating others. I wouldn't want to know they were sleeping around. I couldn't handle knowing he was falling in love with someone else. How can I do to someone the things I don't want to have done to me? I don't want to leave him, and I hope he won't leave me. But when and where do you decide what is more important - to be with someone you like and care for and have fun with and are on the same level as - or finding someone who gives you butterflies? I have time.. I just don't know if he does.
....and that's what summer has been like. I've got a job, met nice people, spent most of June on the balcony and most of July in my rubber boots and umbrella. It's starting to look a lot like autumn and there are only 5 months left of the year. I'm dreading the start of a new semester and I'm missing home, the hammock under the cherry tree - and the kitten.
At least it's not long till Christmas!
