CTRL+ALT+DEL

They say Windows crashes constantly. They say CTRL+ALT+DEL will become your best friend. Then it becomes your worst enemy when you realize that, contrary to popular belief, it doesn't do all that much to fix the problem. If anything at all.

They say Apple and its Mac limits your freedom. Although it doesn't crash as much, it tells you what you can and cannot install. It tells you what you can and cannot do. And then it crashes anyway.

Welcome to Linux Xandros on the Asus eee 900. It's a wonderful blend of Windows and the Mac. It does crash constantly, it does tell you what you can and cannot install (which has been everything the past year), and it seems to have been created simply to annoy the crap out of me.

It doesn't even have the possibility of running the bloody CD that came with it, which would enable me to reset it to its original miserable state of inadequacy.

Say what you want about Windows... having been around the block a couple times I have to say my future laptop will be neither a Mac nor running Linux. Interpret that any which way you want.

If you've got any better suggestions, please do leave a comment.

Summer in Spring

20 degrees, sun, a gentle breeze blowing in my hair... I imagine this is what heaven must be like.

Add to that I feel almost completely well, in record time (alcohol+garlic=win!), and my pale white has been replaced by a subtle shade of red around the shoulders.

The butterflies are playing and the kitten is eating bugs... we got a few perfect days in May this year as well, better enjoy the rest of it before the rain starts tomorrow.

Mmm... there's nothing like long, warm, bright summer days :)

And there goes my sense of smell...

I hate being sick. Probably because I rarely am. Then again, I might have hated it more if it happened more frequently.

Thanks to my already sick sis, who drank from my bottles and sneezed in my face (thanks for that sis!) during the four days we spent on the road trip together, then laughed when I started coughing, exclaiming triumphantly she'd been able to infect someone (seriously - thanks!)... I am now sick.

I hate sick. I get angry with sick.
What I hate the most is losing my sense of smell and taste. What's the point in living if you have no sense of taste? Seriously - what's the point?

Now I'm just gonna do what I always do. Crawl into bed, sleep for three days and feel sorry for myself..? Nah. I'm gonna stay up, jump around, command myself to get well... and blow my nose ever five minutes until my sense of taste comes back (yuck... :-/)!

I do get angry with sick.
And this time I expect it to go away real fast.

Road Trip..?

If only for a few days, just a weekend, it'll be great to leave the town, the country. To get far, far away.

Spring is supposed to be here but it keeps snowing every other day.. Nothing ever happens here, no matter how much I want it to. I miss the pink cherry trees of Bergen!

The Horror of Alarms

I thought I'd left the car alarms behind when I left the city. Unfortunately, something seems to happen every spring and summer; new people come to town. Tourists, friends, relatives.. they come here from other parts of the country, they park their cars, and they turn their car alarms on.

Car alarms don't work here. Well.. they work.. a little too well, to be honest. Which is why they don't work - in the sense that you can't turn them on. This is the quietest little town ever, and people aren't used to car alarms. Neither are cats, dogs, birds..

Basically - if you turn your car alarm on, it's bound to go off. Usually in the middle of the night and it will keep the neighbours up. What you do then is turn it off. What you don't do is turn the bloody thing back on and go back inside!

When you do that it'll only go off again. In about half an hour. Trust me - I know. Leave it off, you won't regret it. Nobody is gonna steal your friggin car anyway, because nothing bad ever happens around here. Again - trust me. I know.

The Scary Pill : Hormones and Pheromones

According to researchers, women tend to choose different men when we're on the pill than we otherwise would. The reason is that during ovulation, our hormones peak. When on the pill, we do not ovulate and the hormones which usually flow into our blood never get released.

This means the men we would usually pick at the time we are most likely to get pregnant, the typically masculine men, we no longer want. Instead, we go for the type of guys we would pick when we are not ovulating - caring, more feminine guys who resemble ourselves.

Although we'd like to think we're making an informed decision, whether or not we are on the pill (and the hormones that go with it) can actually influence our decision when it comes to picking a mate.

The influence of the pill does not stop there. When women do not ovulate, we no longer produce pheromones, which all over the animal kingdom, including for us human beings, is a scent or a stimulant for attracting those of the opposite sex.

It's what tells animals when the females are in heat, and humans also subconsciously react to it. Selling "pheromones" in little bottles has become an industry, advertising that this will make you irresistible (kind of like the Axe commercials for men). The pill removes this natural element completely.


So.. side effects of the pill are; you get attracted to feminine men, you get less attractive to all men, and you want less sex.

And we think the pill is so great.. why exactly?

I'm a self absorbed slut. What else is new?

I'm very self absorbed. I'm a slut too. And a "female horndog".

At least according to the random stranger who read my blog and found it provoking enough to track me down and tell me exactly how he feels about me.

You see, I'm ruining my life here. Not only am I having sex "just for the hell of it". Instead of being ashamed, as anyone should be, I actually admit to that fact online. In a blog. Which apparently everyone I know reads; my family, my friends - even my future employer who would never consider hiring someone like me. Why?

Because "a reasonably cultured intelligent person would not admit to having sex with a person they did not imagine themselves having a long term relationship with". At least so says the stranger (who ironically enough called himself "ReallyNiceGuy"). Before he ended by saying that I (the slut) probably never have sex anyway since I'm too self absorbed.

Natural Harvest - a collection of semen-based recipes

A cookbook by Paul "Fotie" Photenhauer

FOREWORD
"Semen is nutritious. It contains a good balance of fructose sugars, protein, enzymes, vitamins and minerals. On its own, semen meets the criteria for a low-carb food. In fact, Dr. Atkins would probably have praised semen as an ideal food had it not been considered a faux pas."

Although most of us would find this slightly.. erm.. gross, the author does have some good points. People already eat blood, flesh from animals, we drink milk from what are basically the cow's breasts, we eat liver, caviar. What is caviar? Fish eggs! We're already eating so many strange things, what makes semen different - or worse?

"Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants. Despite all of these positive qualities, semen remains neglected as a food. 

This book hopes to change that. Once you overcome any initial hesitation, you will be surprised to learn how wonderful semen is in the kitchen. Semen is an exciting ingredient that can give every dish you make an interesting twist!"

After being posted online the cookbook had quickly been downloaded 100.000 times. The author decided it was time to make it into an actual book, and since then it has become wildly popular. To read more, see www.cookingwithcum.com.


Unfortunately, I do not have access to any semen so I can't try any of the recipes. If I had had access to semen, I still would not have tried any of the recipes. Sex is fun, food is fun. Sex and food? I'm sure the harvesting of the ingredient would be fun but... "Honey, give me a squirt will you, I'm gonna make hot chocolate with cream"?

I think I'll pass!

Passionate Encounters - and the lack thereof

Last night while discussing love, lust and the like with one of those nice people who live in my computer, I was confronted with the question of what is really the difference between passion, chemistry and lust? I don't really know if is there any significant difference.

I started thinking about it and I must admit - I have never truly had either. Chemistry perhaps, you need chemistry to make friends and lovers. But in combination with passion and lust in the bedroom? Never.

That strikes me as a little unfortunate and I can't help but feel I've missed out. I've never had that connection with someone that makes you tingle with anticipation, when you just have to have someone, raw passion, instincts taking over not caring about anything other than the here and now.

I've had the "like" and the "care for". The "just for fun" and the "feel like doing it", just not... not the passion and the chemistry in bed that I want to experience, that I imagine we all want to experience. Just being tossed around in the sack for a bit, because no one says love and lust are the same.

Then again, my friends do tell me sex is always better when you find that person you truly love, and who loves you back.

Have you ever had that lust, that passion with someone?

And would you rather have good sex with someone who is right for you in the long term, or experience raw passion with someone who is completely wrong?

Facebook - the Annoying Contacts

We all have them; the annoying contacts. They are annoying in several different ways, and most of them are not that bad all the time. We are all probably an annoying contact to someone else, at one point or another.
I wrote about Farmtown. a while ago, but people on Facebook itself can be pretty frustrating too!

• People who use "cutsie-speak". Often seen on comments on photos and goes along the lines of "ooooh u r soo pretty!!", "prettiiiiieessstt!!", "no ur so hoottt!", "no u r!", "ur the beessttt!!". Yes, it was a nice photo of a beautiful girl, but what happens with people's language when they see something pretty? Do people automatically revert back to being 14, or is it like when people see babies? We all know how that works. 

• People whose status updates only revolve around 1) how drunk they were last weekend, and 2) how drunk they are planning to get next weekend. It's fine being enthusiastic, I love that. But when you're in your mid twenties and all you write is "I was soo wasted, dunno how I got home! should I drink again tomorrow?" But I suppose it does says something about your state of mind when most of your friends and the people who comment are very young teenage girls, a decade or more younger than you.