Last night I cut off my testicles

In a dream, of course.

Which is kinda weird since I'm a girl and therefore don't have any...

I think, in my dream, I knew a guy who'd done it, and I thought that there was no reason to keep mine; they didn't do anything and they were just in the way anyway. There were no other guy-parts, but apparently it was normal for girls to have balls down there somewhere. I'm not entirely sure where they were attached though...

I remember thinking guys might find it weird, me not having any, and the argument against plastic surgery jumped into my head; why fix something that isn't broken, you never know what complications will arise.

But I did it anyway, I sat down and cut them off with a pair of scissors. Unlike guy's testicles they were two separate things, hanging by two different bits of skin about 5mm in diameter. When I cut them off, and it didn't hurt, there was some sort of tube inside.. it looked like hollowed out spaghetti (definitely inspired by the fried squid rings I made a week ago which looked exactly the same inside).

Then I think I woke up, because I don't remember why I was doing it or what happened afterwards. I didn't even remember the dream until 12 hours later.

Gross, you say?
Kinda, I suppose.

I've never liked football or volleyball, but there are some ball games I do like... as long as the balls belong to the right guy. But being a proud owner myself? I think I'll pass.

*I have a feeling next time I see a pair I'll investigate them thoroughly to see exactly what they look like, where they're attached and how one might.. remove them. That was a weird dream...*

New Experiences

The past couple months I've been a substitute teacher (or been "playing teacher" as I call it) a few days a week at the local school. I've done everything from Norwegian and Maths to cooking and PE and I'm more convinced than ever that I'll never want to a teacher. Not that I ever thought I would.

It's not that I don't like it - some days are great; nice kids, having fun. Other days... well, take yesterday; four hours with seven years old yelling, followed by two hours in the computer room with ten year olds (fun actually), then one hour with a bunch of eight year olds; one of which would not surprise me if he told me he was raised by a bunch of monkeys. Or teenage boys. Can one get sexually harassed by an eight year old?

I'd never have the patience for that kind of job.

But all in all - I like it. It's something new, I love being stressed and sure get enough of that when I'm there; I never know what I'm gonna be doing until five minutes before I have to do it... if I'm lucky. I've wanted to do something like this for a while; observing the educational system from behind the scenes in a country first hand, especially a country as bound to its ideals of streamlining everything as this one, is fascinating. And I'm bound to come out of it with new experiences - perhaps I'll even learn something!

One thing I do find especially amusing is life in the teacher's lounge. Seeing what the teachers really do in there, I think all kids wonder about that. Lunch conversations are interesting and the people are nice. It's especially interesting talking to others my age, often coming in from the outside, giving their perspectives on things and the town. Conversation turns to people you know and before you know it you have learned quite a few new things about them.

It's fascinating to see someone you halfway know through another person's eyes. It can be different from your own ideas, different from the impressions acquaintances give off. Or exactly the same, only you weren't looking. Little bits of new information, constantly acquired, to make the picture more whole, fill in the blanks, making you see things a little more clearly. Or perhaps it just gets more confusing.

People do always tend to talk more about people's bad qualities than about the good ones. Perhaps there's a reason for that.

Autumn break

The parents suddenly decided to take off in the morning so it looks like I'll have the house to myself for a few days.

I only wish the weather could have stayed as beautiful as it's been the past week, but it seems real autumn weather is on its way. If the reports are right, we could be getting just under two inches of rain tomorrow.

I have a feeling I'll be spending the next few days cooped up inside...

The Flintstones are 50!

The prettiest Google logo ever?

The Flintstones was first aired on September 30th 1960, fifty years ago, and has to be one of the most well known cartoons out there. Apart from Donald (of course) this has always been one of my favourites. And there's just something special about theme songs from your childhood...

Browser with a sense of humour

I tried opening Firefox when it presented an error message:
"Well, this is awkward."

It had tried to open the tabs from a previous session and obviously thought it was rather embarassing when it wasn't able to do so.

- Anyone think IE would phrase it quite like that? :)

More jokes from Facebook

"Man and wife are making a new password for the computer.
Man types in "mypenis".
Wife falls to the floor laughing cause the computer says "error: too short"."


*thinking wistfully of the ones who were never too short*
(without, of course, being 'too direct' in any way possible..)

Kitty's wet day

"A hungry kitty stood by the river's bank when a bread crumb came along. The kitty reached out, caught the bread crumb, and ate it. Then a slice of bread came down the stream. The hungry kitty cat did the same thing - it reached out, and it ate the the slice of bread. Then half a loaf came down the river. The pussy cat reached out... but then it all went wrong; the pussy slipped, and landed right there in the river with the bread...


The moral of the story is... the bigger the loaf of bread, the wetter the pussy!"


...weird aunts make for awkward and amusing entertainment on Facebook...

Facebook clarification

Of all the things I've seen people post on Facebook, this one has got to be one of the best and worst ones this year;

"August 2010 had 5 Sundays, 5 Mondays and 5 Tuesdays. This only occurs once every 823 years, and according to Feng Shui those who tell their friends about this during the month of September will receive a lot of money. So copy and post!"

1. I hate chain statuses.
2. Feng Shui.. money.. tell your friends.. oh please!
3. This message doesn't even make any sense and is clearly designed to see who has brains... and who doesn't.

Every time August starts on a Sunday, there will be 5 each of Sundays, Mondays and Tuesdays. This happens every five or six years, except for when leap years makes August 1st go from Saturday to Monday, skipping Sunday.

Our dates follow a pretty easily discernible pattern; if August 1st is on a Sunday this year, it will be so again in 11 years. Then 6 years, 5, 6, 11, 6, 5, 6, 11 and so on.

Meaning this happens in 1993, 1999, 2004, 2010, 2021, 2027, 2032 etc etc.
Not every 823 years.

The way our calendars are planned, nothing happens only once every 823 years.


What on earth makes people post things like this without checking the facts?

But hey, I shouldn't complain - at least I learned something new today. I do get way too detailed some times...

And maybe I shouldn't be too hard on other people - if it weren't for them, Facebook would be an awfully boring place!

...823 years...

Hackers and the importance of Viagra

Not so impressed with Gmail anymore as it turns out emails they told me were intercepted and "Delivery failed" have been sent anyway.

To quote one recipient: "I got your email about viagra and how important it is".
(It seems not everyone is familiar with the concept of spam...)

Since I know a few of you were seemingly sent that email, could someone let me know whether you got it or not?

I have a feeling I shouldn't be sending out a new mass email asking "Got spam?", but I'm curious to know how many received it... and why Gmail told me no one did.

I've been hacked!

At 1.14pm I was hacked by someone seemingly located on a mobile device in Germany.

This person sent approximately a hundred emails to people in my address book, resulting in Google shutting it down. Which meant they shut down this blog too.

First of all - if an email got through to you, I'm sorry. I hate getting spam too and I always wonder what people do to get their email addresses taken over.

Second - Gmail seems to have caught pretty much every single email, labeled them as spam, and refused to send them. I am seriously impressed!

Third - to the best of my knowledge I have never had an account hacked before and now I'm not entirely sure how to prevent it from happening again. I'm resetting the obvious options but I'll have to look into it some more in the morning.


I wonder if this means someone has physically been in my Gmail account or if they've hijacked my address from somewhere else.. Either way, I hope they keep their sticky fingers away from my accounts in the future!